The girls asked me to tell true stories to them today and I wasn’t feeling very creative, so I told them about the things that were bothering me. Here are the two stories of the day.
Story #1: Once upon a time, a mommy ordered a package from Zulily. For more than a week, Zulily said they were “preparing to ship” the package, which is the final stage in Zulily holding your order hostage. The mommy doesn’t understand why Zulily takes so long to ship, but she tries to be patient. Then Zulily’s status on her order went two steps backwards to just “processing.” The mommy freaked out worrying that the package would not be here in time for Christmas, so she emailed Zulily to find out WHY? WHY?!
Magically, within two hours, she got an email from Zulily that her package had been shipped. When she tracked the package, she discovered that it had actually been shipped several days ago and Zulily sucks at updating order statuses. The package was now only 20 minutes away from her house at a UPS facility in the Toledo area. It was magical! She thought perhaps the package might even appear on her doorstep that very day since the website said the package was on a truck RIGHT THEN. But then, for some bizarre reason, UPS sent the package almost 2 hours away to a facility near Cleveland. Why, UPS, why?
Allegedly the package would be there the next day, but why would UPS send the package so far away when it was so close to her house? The mommy was sure there was some reasonable explanation involving efficiency and main shipping facilities, and yet she sees UPS come to her neighborhood multiple times a day, sometimes more than once to the same house. So UPS just doesn’t make any sense sometimes, now does it? The mommy was very confused and also isn’t sure if she really can wait until Christmas to give the present that is inside the package, especially when you consider the fact that her children are Jewish.
Story #2: Once upon a time there was a mommy who went to the grocery store earlier today to get some syrup so she and her little girls could make pumpkin muffins. When she and the little girls took out the ingredients for baking, they discovered they were out of sugar. Now the mommy remembered running out of sugar, but also remembered seeing another bag of sugar up in the cabinet. This was why she didn’t buy more sugar the last two times she was at the grocery store. But when she and the little girls got what she thought was a bag of sugar out from the cabinet, they discovered it wasn’t a bag of sugar. It was a bag of all-purpose flour.
And that’s why the mommy and the little girls made microwave s’mores instead of pumpkin muffins.