The Barbie Invasion

Look what we got.

I couldn't help but pose them like this when the kids weren't looking.

Lily has been asking for Toy Story Barbie and Ken for forever. We were in luck on a recent trip to Toys R Us with her grandparents. She came home with the “Made for Each Other” 2-pack. If we weren’t traveling and trying to conserve space, I totally would have kept the box because it cracks me up.

Made for Each Other

These are our very first Barbies. Even though Rose isn’t 2 yet, she got her own Barbie as well.

They aren't really able to have their dolls have conversations, but they are still excited.

I thought Rose was too young to get a Barbie, but her big sister was getting one and Rose actually talked about Barbies nonstop prior to this purchase. Despite the feminist reasons why I shouldn’t allow this, I always loved Barbie growing up. My girls were always going to have Barbies at some point. Might as well let the invasion begin.

Immediately after the Barbies came home, I started to regret it.

Where'd Barbie's top go?

The girls immediately started treating Barbies like… Barbies. Rose made Barbie naked within minutes. I was disturbed.

But nowhere near as disturbed as I was the first time she got a hold of both Barbie and Ken. Rose is not even 2 and she had Ken and Barbie kissing! (Sadly, this was not an easy photograph to get and this was as close I was able to muster.)

Somehow my 2 year old already knows Barbie is a slut. Perhaps it's the lycra?

I was so disturbed. I mean, yes. This is all I ever did with my Ken and Barbie. This was really Barbie’s purpose in life– to kiss Ken. But for my not-yet 2 year old to KNOW this is what should happen is really traumatizing to me. I did this with Ken and Barbie when I was like 6 or 7. She is not even 2.

Where did she learn that? I’d blame “Toy Story 3″ for being too racy, but that’s absolutely ridiculous. My husband claims that Barbie and Ken don’t even kiss in the movie. I think they do, but I can’t remember a specific instance despite watching it at least 387 times and I refuse to watch it again just to find out. If they do kiss, that illustration of what these exact dolls do together may have led to Rose’s actions.

Or perhaps I am guilty of kissing Mr. Toy Warden in front of her. The horror. How dare I?

Oh, Barbie Invasion. I wish it weren’t here yet. Aside from the disturbing nudity and romantic kisses, there is the issue of Barbie accessories disappearing immediately, particularly those tricky shoes. Everyone started freaking out about finding the shoes and asking me to put them back on over and over and over again. I was losing my mind until genius High Heeled Mom suggested telling the kids that Barbie is SUPPOSED to be barefoot. She confiscates the shoes the second new Barbies walk into her home. Lesson learned. Our Barbies just informed my kids they like to be barefoot too!

Anyway, Barbie is here and her adventures are about to begin. If they are anything like our Toy Story adventures have been so far, Barbie will mostly say hi to other toys and then dance, but perhaps more complicated plots are closer than I think.


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