Dr. Toy Warden’s Sports Ambitions

Two weeks ago we were sitting in the play area of our local “mall” (a sad, mostly shut down abandoned place necessitating quotes because a Mall it is not) when two elementary-school-aged kids started playing catch with a Nerf football.

Lily turned to her dad with big eyes and said “Daddy, I really want to play football.”

And he jumped up like someone had lit a fire under him and ran to the sporting good store and bought her a football within 15 minutes of her original request. It clearly couldn’t wait. It was a football emergency. It was like he’d been waiting his whole life for someone to tell him she wanted a football so he could go buy it.

We brought the football home and found that Lily thought it was more fun to watch her dad and I throw the ball around than actually play the game herself. Dr. Toy Warden claims I have a fantastic spiral throw. Who knew? All these years I could have been a professional football player wasted!

A few days later, my husband played a rousing game of catch over the fence with the neighbors. Everyone was wearing baseball mitts and Lily was entranced.

“I really want a baseball glove. I want to play catch like Daddy!”

“I have to go to the store!” my husband said.

“We don’t have to buy everything she asks for the second she asks for it! It can wait.”

“She wants to play catch!”

We had other things going on that day, so he didn’t get her the glove that day.

“It’s been two whole days since Lily asked for a glove and we still don’t have one!” was later heard in this house.

About 5 days after Lily asked for the glove, we were back at the “mall” for dance class (we spend a SURPRISING amount of time in this abandoned mall. It really is impressive how often we visit there considering it has practically no stores.) and I remembered that the mitt was No. 1 priority. We bought her a pink youth mitt and she’s in love and actually can catch. Sort of. I mean, if you drop the ball directly into her glove, it doesn’t fall out.

She doesn’t have a bad throw considering her size though.

Anyway, Lily had to wait 5 whole days to get her baseball mitt. It was pretty tragic. I can’t imagine having to wait a whole week to get a material good. Oh wait, I’ve been waiting for a patio for 4 years so I guess I can.

In short, when it comes to sports objects, we apparently spare no expense and waste no time. It doesn’t matter that Lily’s birthday was just a few weeks ago, if she asks for a football or a baseball mitt, it must be hers IMMEDIATELY. Dr. Toy Warden said so.

Actually, the immediate purchase makes sense in that there’s only about a month left of decent weather left, but still, I can’t help but giggle at how quickly Lily gets her sports wishes fulfilled. I’m pretty sure I’d have had to wait weeks or months if I’d asked for a baseball glove at her age. But then, I never would have asked for such a thing.

“Baseball? Football? Yuck. Books and Barbies, please.” — Toy Warden, throughout childhood


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