Friday Funnies: An Underwear Tale

I got Lily underwear for Hanukkah. Wait! I swear my intentions were good! I know it sounds like the worst possible presents– like one of those horror stories of what your parents’ got you as a present– but I swear I was given a million not so subtle hints that she really really wanted new underwear.

Now, Lily’s pre-existing underwear were fine. They still pretty much fit her even though she’s been wearing them since we started potty training. Despite this, every single time we were in a store near underwear, she’d seek it out and declare her lust over it.

This happened REPEATEDLY. For months. She wanted Tinker Bell, My Little Pony and Disney princess underwear more than anything. She would go on and on about how she would get this underwear when she grew a little and was bigger. She could not wait to get this underwear.

So even though her old underwear still pretty much fit, I upgraded her a size and bought her four packs of new underwear for Hanukkah: Tinker Bell, Rapunzel, My Little Pony and classic Disney princess underwear. I gave them to her all on one night– it was one of our more expensive nights because each pack of underwear was about $10. Because of all pre-Hanukkah excitement over underwear, I imagined we had viral video material when she opened these things. I mean, who the hell thinks underwear is exciting but a 4 year old? Or a Victoria Secrets designer?

This is what I thought would happen when she opened it:

And this is what actually happened when she opened it:

After all the hype in the store, this was pretty disappointing.

I mean, you’d think she’d be at least a little bit excited about something she’d been asking for with enthusiasm for MONTHS. I began to question my judgment as a mother. Did I really just get my daughter underwear for Hanukkah? Am I THAT mother? Surely I can do better than that. I wouldn’t have gotten it for her as a gift if I didn’t think she REALLY wanted it.

I was sort of glum for the rest of the night as she enthusiastically helped her little sister put her new puzzle together. Later when I took her up to bed, I finally got a hint that she did indeed want the underwear. She went through her drawer and looked at each and every pair of new underwear, proudly announcing what she would be wearing on her butt later.

And then, the next day she said something that confirmed I was not crazy after all.

I knew it! I KNEW she wanted underwear for Hanukkah.

I just wish she’d given us that viral video when she opened it.

Hope your gift-giving garners more initial enthusiasm than mine has.


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