The Heat Wave Is My Fault

When we were planning to conceive our third child, I told Dr. Toy Warden I wanted to have it due in May or June so I could avoid being pregnant in the heat of summer and could enjoy nice weather with my small baby instead of being cooped up inside like I was with the girls. Both Rose and Lily have fall birthdays and it wasn’t a lot of fun. I made it through the summer, but I swelled up a lot with the heat and felt hot always. After they were born, it got cold pretty quickly and we were stuck inside until the spring.

Dr. Toy Warden and I are really good at fertility (I’d donate some of our fertility if I could), so we got our early June due date for #3 just like we planned. Most years in our region it is cold until May. I thought for sure I’d only have one month of warm weather. I bought all winter maternity clothes in preparation for being pregnant during mostly cold months. They were predicting another harsh winter (ha ha), so I thought I was being smart. I have enough leftover, unstained summer maternity clothes from the girls to maybe make it work for a month– not 3 months.

And here we are in March on our second day of 85+ degree temperatures. Dr. Toy Warden says the weather did this to spite me. I THINK I can get away with being pregnant without being hot, but clearly I am mistaken. Entire ecosystems go out of balance to make sure I spend at least 3 months of my pregnancy sweating, swelling and in a very limited wardrobe.

And so, the ridiculous heat wave this summer is not due to global warming or whatever other explanation may be afoot. It is hot right now because I tried to have a late spring baby instead of a late summer/early fall one. It is all my fault.

Sorry, everyone.


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