Last Monday I realized Lily’s ballet recital was the exact same weekend as my cousin’s wedding.
I wasn’t sure what to do. Lily has been working toward this recital since September and it didn’t seem fair to make her go to a wedding instead of the recital with her friends, especially when she’d just received this amazing costume.
We paid $45 for that thing.
I am not going to my cousin’s wedding myself. I will be 36-weeks pregnant and the wedding is 4 hours away. Traveling like that while obscenely pregnant seems like tempting fate. My husband volunteered to take the kids to the wedding so they could all see my widely scattered family, some of whom have not even met Rose.
Since I’m staying home, I decided that Lily would stay with me so she could still have her special day. It made sense to me at the time because she’s worked very hard for her recital. She hasn’t seen my cousin in 2 years and I’m not sure if Lily knows who she is (though I’ve shown her pictures). I thought it would be more fair to Lily to let her dance in her special recital in her special costume with all her friends.
We were trying to decide if my husband should return home overnight so he could see Lily dance. The wedding is Friday night. The recital is Saturday morning. I asked Lily if she would be upset if Daddy missed her recital because he was going to be at the wedding with Rose.
Lily: I want to go to the wedding!
Me: But your recital is at the same time as the wedding. If you want to dance in your costume on a stage with your friends, you need to stay here and miss the wedding.
Lily: I don’t want to go to the recital. I want to go to the wedding! I want to see people get married!
Ok then. Dr. Toy Warden and I were trying to figure out if he could get her back in time for the recital. When I suggested Lily would be able to do both, but she wouldn’t stay in the hotel, she got upset.
Lily: I want to stay in the hotel with Daddy! I don’t want to dance on a stage! I want to go to the wedding with everyone else! I just want to go to the wedding!
I don’t know what she thinks is going to happen at this wedding, but she’s made herself pretty clear. Lily will not be performing in her dance recital and you know what? I’m kind of glad. It may make me a horrible mother, but I’m relieved I don’t have to sit backstage entertaining a 4 year old for hours. I’m also relieved that we don’t have to pay $15 a person to watch our child dance for 2 minutes and suffer through hours of other kids dancing while trying to entertain a 2 year old.
Would the recital have been adorable? Absolutely. But the truth is it would mostly be a headache for us with 2 minutes of stage time in a cute costume.
So really, Lily just made the best decision for all of us! She gets to have fun at a wedding. My extended family gets a rare chance to spend time with her, and I don’t have to suffer the headache of whatever goes on backstage while baby-sitting my 4-year-old during a recital or watch a bunch of strangers’ kids dance when I get bored watching professional ballet.
Sounds good to me!
I will miss the cuteness, but we can pretend like it happened anyway because they take professional pictures of the girls at the studio the week before the recital.