Do Your Job, Dog

Dear Lumpy,
I don’t understand you. If I leave food on the counter or the table, you eat it. You wait until we’re not looking and eat sausage, cookies, brownies and cereals right off of surfaces that SHOULD be too high up for you to reach. It’s gotten so bad that we’ve had to lock you away when we leave the house, otherwise you will eat something off the counter or out of the garbage.

And yet, if I spill a bowl of popcorn, something I know for a fact you love so much that you will sit there begging for it the entire time I eat it, you won’t eat a bite of it off the floor. I will be left with a mess that will sit there for hours until I give up and realize you aren’t going to eat it.

What point is there of having a dog if he’s not going to clean up your major food spills? You love people food and sneak it constantly unless I actually WANT you to eat it.


If a bowl of cereal or a bunch of popcorn falls the floor, EAT IT. This is how you earn your doggie keep.

Your adoptive mom


1 Comment

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One Response to Do Your Job, Dog

  1. deafgimp

    I bet it’s connected. He associates eating people food that is out (compared to stuff that is handed to him) with being punished, so of course he’s not going to eat it when you’re standing right there, even if you say it’s ok. If you left the house, he probably reasons that he has a chance of getting away with it and that’s why he does it when you’re not home. You could try putting it in his bowl, but that is most of the way towards cleaning it up!

    My own dog counter surfs when I am home, but not so much when my husband is home, because I don’t hear her and she knows she has a greater chance of getting away with it when he’s not here. Her hoovering capacity is definitely part of the joy of having a dog, she’ll even clean up spilled liquids for me.

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