Friday Funnies: How to Get Yelled At Over Food

No matter how much food I stuff in the kids before we go outside, you can bet the second we get outside, they will start asking for things. The following cartoon depicts what typically happens if I try to sit back with my feet up while we are outside– which is what I do these days because I’m 35 weeks pregnant with severe hip pain and lots of Braxton Hicks contractions. Once I’m sitting, getting up is a HUGE effort. I’d be annoyed by as many requests as I get if I were able-bodied. At this point in my pregnancy, annoyance doesn’t describe what happens when the following scenario takes place.

This happened just yesterday. The girls had gotten up really late and probably finished eating breakfast at 9:30, so I thought we’d be in the clear to go outside to play at 11 without too many hunger issues. Still, I made sure to ask if they were hungry BEFORE we went outside.

They claimed they were full. I shouldn’t have believed them.

The next thing I knew, Lily had actually gone in to get her own cookies, which was fine by me. Anything to keep sitting. However, her sister followed her inside and took off her buckled sandals. I still had to get up to help Rose put on her shoes again.

So, yes, I had to haul my pregnant ass back inside to get some juiceboxes. While I was there, I got myself a snack. Considering the children had JUST eaten cookies (and, really, BREAKFAST), I thought I’d be ok. Just in case, I asked everyone if they wanted any more food while I was inside. Everyone said no.

But they lied.

Back inside I went to get Rose a cereal bar. Lily claimed she didn’t want anything else and that she was “so full”. Five minutes later she wanted a graham cracker. I sent her in to get her own stuff. Rose followed her.

I got up again to retrieve Rose. I asked again if anyone wanted anything else. Everyone said no.

And that’s when I lost it and ranted on and on about how people should have asked for EVERYTHING they wanted at once and how next time I’m only getting up ONCE and after that you don’t get other snack. I have trouble denying my underweight child (Lily) food, especially when she asks for an apple, but she will NOT be getting one the next time this happens.

And yes, I should have just fed them before we went outside, but they’d JUST eaten. In the future, I’m taking a bunch of snacks out with us no matter when they just ate so I can just SIT there as planned instead of attempting to induce pre-term labor.

We’ve been having a lot of episodes like this even inside and I’ve been mulling over instituting a rule that Lily can not have food for at least 30 minutes AFTER I asked her if she was hungry and she said no. I’m not a 24/7 line chef.



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2 Responses to Friday Funnies: How to Get Yelled At Over Food

  1. So funny! I can relate— except mine always want something when I am sitting down and nursing Gabe. They have learned to wait though :) Because otherwise Gabe would have a crappy feeding with me getting up and down so much.

    I’m also super impressed that you can paint your toenails while 9 months pregnant! Marty always had to paint mine for me and let’s face it- it wasn’t a very good job :)

    • I have weird super flexibility in bending my legs forward and almost always sit in the lotus position naturally. I can always put my feet up to my face, so it’s easy to get around the belly– I don’t really have to bend over the belly, just bend my leg up to where I can reach my toes!

      I can’t walk or bend over, but I can reach my toes thanks to my bizarre knees and thighs.

      I’m trying to teach Lily to wait. Rose… well she’ll get used to it later.

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