When Are You Going For a Boy?

Taking three little girls in public somehow makes me an open target for the pity of strangers.

“Three girls, huh? Poor you.”

“Three girls, huh? Your poor husband!”

“Three girls, huh? When are you going for a boy?”

“Three girls, huh? One was more than enough for me.”

Yes, these are all statements that have actually been said to me these last 13 weeks as I’ve taken our beautiful little Lily, Rose and Violet out with me. It drives me insane because I’m very happy with three girls. I was really excited when I found out I would have another girl instead of a boy. A boy would have been good for a lot of reasons and I would have loved him, but I really wanted three girls. We were not trying for a boy. We were trying for a healthy baby. Sure, I hoped it would be another girl, but I figured it would be a boy because who could be so lucky to get three girls?

I don’t get why people don’t like little girls. My girls are kind and gentle and super funny. They have their moments, but for the most part we haven’t had too much trouble with sass yet. I’ve met a lot of sweet little boys, but I’ve also spent time with a lot of them who were so stereotypically rambunctious, loud, defiant and violent that I actually have somewhat of a toddler boy phobia. I’m not saying toddler girls are perfect or don’t also do loud, violent things, but these things seem to happen less with them– or at least with mine so far.

There are a million great things about having girls. My girls are spunky, creative and smart. They love to climb and play t-ball like boys, but I get the added bonus of tea parties, princess dress up, dolls and ridiculously cute pink outfits. The clothes alone (plus the alleged money we’re saving on having hand-me-downs) made me ecstatic to have another girl.

I have heard the teen years with girls will be rough with sass and hormones, but I find it hard to believe that girls are really harder than boys then. Boys seem harder to control at almost all ages. Does a few years of girl teen angst really outweigh the preceding 13 years of stereotypical boy hyperactivity? Do boys really not get moody or crazy in high school? They all seemed to be getting into plenty of trouble to me when I was in high school.

And my husband is not “poor” in any way. He loves having three girls. Would he have liked a boy? Sure. But he’s not all that disappointed he doesn’t have one. Our girls are awesome. He plays basketball with them in the yard and is encouraging them to run with him. You do not need a boy to play sports, nor does having a boy guarantee that you will get one that LIKES to play or even watch sports.

So, pesky strangers on the street, we were not trying for a boy and we never will be. This family is perfect just the way it is.



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2 Responses to When Are You Going For a Boy?

  1. bloggy

    I have 2 girls and a boy in the middle. I adore my girls–they make parenting so easy–so gentle, mild mannered, and witty. My son, on the other hand, are responsible for my gray hair. I love my boy and I wouldn’t want my boy any different than who he is but man oh man, he makes me tired. I guess my kids behave in the stereotypical gender fashion. But I have seen my fair share of girls behaving badly too, worse than my boy. Anyway, when my 2nd daughter was born, looking at her made my heart hurt at times when I thought that in some families/countries, just her gender would make her be unwanted/unloved/abandoned/killed. It’s sad, this wanting of a boy or a girl. You are right, it should be just about wanting a healthy baby.

  2. Lynn

    I love my little boy. He’s a lot like me, which means we clash heads 99% of the time, but I love him.

    However, I will totally and guiltily admit that there is something really sweet about having a little girl. I don’t feel like I have to protect her more, though I do feel the welcome burden of teaching her to be a strong woman in a world that still favors men. Or a strong woman, period.

    It’s different, even when you don’t care about traditional gender roles, and little girls are so much fun.

    Of course, my little boy just woke me up from a nap so I might be a little biased right now…

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