Fun with Food Intolerance

On Tuesday, I was extremely ambitious for me and made an entire turkey dinner while home alone with three children. I even made a pie!

I was pretty damn proud of myself.

So naturally, at 4 am Wednesday, I woke up with stomach cramps, diarrhea and vomiting. I panicked all day that I’d just food poisoned my family, but no one else had stomach issues. Then I got to thinking about it– I had had tummy woes off and on all week.

Then I thought about what days I’d had tummy woes.

And THEN I remembered I had had fresh pineapple on all those days.

I spent about 10 years of my life completely avoiding all citric acid. It used to really bother my stomach to the point where I decided I probably shouldn’t eat it anymore. A couple years ago, I started ignoring my rule about that. As long as I didn’t overindulge with orange juice, I was ok. Then recently I learned how to cut up a pineapple and I couldn’t get enough. It helped that occasionally for completely baffling reasons fresh pineapples were 10 for $10 at our local Kroger. In Ohio. Baffling.

I ate it and I THOUGHT I was doing ok.

Apparently not. Apparently, I can’t digest pineapple. Looking back, I had another episode like this right after I hosted 12 people at my house for neighborhood bunco and was panicking that I had food poisoned all of them. No one else got sick that I heard of. I was too scared to ask and my husband had eaten all the food and not gotten sick. For that particular bunco, I made pina coladas– heavy on the pineapple juice. Ah… it’s all making sense now.

So the bad news is I can’t eat delicious pineapple anymore. It’s a real bummer. BUT the good news is I haven’t been food poisoning people. My meat thermometer and kitchen hygiene are working just fine. We can eat 11 leftover pounds of turkey!

RIP me eating pineapple.


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