No Pants

Rose has decided that she hates wearing pants and doesn’t want to do it anymore even though it’s winter. This is baffling to me as I wear pants EVERY SINGLE DAY and prefer pants to dresses. Maybe when she gains a sense of modesty, she will realize how cumbersome dresses can be at times. You can’t sit “criss cross applesauce” when you are wearing a dress. You also can’t climb around on a jungle gym without flashing somebody. So, now Rose wants to wear ONLY blue dresses with no pants or tights under them. We’ve been fighting about this most mornings. It has been way too cold not to wear pants. It’s been so cold that I feel uncomfortable with making her suffer the natural consequences of her not wearing pants. I don’t want the kid to get frostbite!

I didn’t know how to get through to her that pants were necessary whether she liked them or not. But then I gave her a lecture about it that has apparently had a very big impact.

I hate socks. I hate them a lot. My feet feel like they are suffocating in them. I can’t wait to take them off at night. I HATE THEM. But I wear socks every day, most of the day in winter because my feet get cold without them.

I explained this to Rose and she was shocked. She was further shocked when I told her some of the other things I hate, but I do them anyway.

I hate cooking, but I feed our entire family three meals a day because I have to. I hate cleaning, but I clean (not as much as I should) because if I don’t our entire house would fill up with garbage, dirt and grease. I gave her a detailed of a description of what could happen if I didn’t clean, and she was really floored by it. “There could be toys and garbage to the ceiling! We wouldn’t be able to walk!”

I hate driving, but I drive Rose everywhere while my husband is at work because there is no public transportation where we live.

All of these things made a very big impact on Rose. There were a couple more days of not as heavy fighting after I gave her this lecture, but now every time she gets dressed, and sometimes randomly during the day, she turns to me and says “Mommy, you hate wearing socks, but you HAVE TO wear them or your feet will get cold! I hate pants, but I have to wear them!”

That’s right.

I know I’m a freak for hating socks, but damn I hate them. They are itchy. I can’t sleep in them. If I wear socks to bed, I wake up in the middle of the night and my tongue feels furry. I know it doesn’t make any sense, but there it is. I wear sandals as much as I can when it’s warm outside. Maybe this is the way Rose feels when she’s wearing pants? How can you hate pants though? She’s wearing leggings and sweatpants. What’s to hate?

Other random weird things I hate:
*Mint flavored desserts (breath mints and toothpaste are ok)
*Citrus-flavored desserts especially lime bars. Lime is meant to complement Mexican food, not to be in a super gross dessert.
*Baked goods that have shared a room with something mint flavored. These things have a flavor contamination and are ruined for me.
*All sports except for 1990s Chicago basketball (which irritates my husband who hates Michael Jordan)
*Most bars and all frat parties
*The type of action movie with a scene where thousands of characters run at each other with weapons while screaming



Filed under Uncategorized

7 Responses to No Pants

  1. I don’t like turtlenecks and long sleeve shirts. They always feel restricting to me. I have only just recently found a set of long sleeve shirts that I actually don’t mind wearing because they;re loose on the arms and don’t constrict me.

  2. bea

    i agree with the mint thing. this goes particularly for mint/chocolate. it is an abomination . i also agree with the bus driver about turtlenecks. also movies where the main plot is predicated on someone pretending to be something they’re not (this includes most romantic comedies) i spend the whole thing in uncomfortable anticipation of their being found out which *always* happens. whew! i feel better.

  3. Anne

    I share your hatred for socks. Which has become a big issue in my marriage. My husband doesn’t understand that I hate them. And even in the winter, the second I’m inside they come off!!! I’ll wear them in shoes but if I’m in the house I’m either bare foot, with slippers or in sandals. And when I catch a cold he’ll be so happy to tell me it’s because I hate socks. But it’s not! It’s because he brought the cold in the house! ;)

  4. anon

    Feel free to send me all unwanted socks. I love socks. I have so many socks, especially ones for cold weather, that i have a drawer of just socks. My Mom and/or sister get me socks for my bday every year!

  5. Dayna

    When I was Rose’s age I hated pants too. Hated, hated, hated. I would not wear them. My mom tried to get me in jeans, but forget it. She finally convinced me to wear knit pants and nixed the jean idea. I would sometimes comply but we finally came to a compromise by getting me to wear cable knit tights and dresses.

    From middle school through now I have maybe owned half a dozen pair of jeans, if that. I still hate them. I used to wear them in HS once in a while to “fit in” but I gave up long ago and probably haven’t worn any in 15 years. I never “grew out of” my hatred for them. I have two pairs of pants in my wardrobe. I will wear them when it is cold but I mostly even then wear dresses with leggings under them. I guess I never outgrew my hatred.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>