Yesterday I was walking through Meijer when suddenly I saw something that was “perfect” for Rose.
I mean, how could I walk away from a hooded Cinderella towel considering how gigantic her Cinderella love is? We need new towels anyway and this towel just had “Rose” written all over it.
The trouble I had when I saw it was what to do about Lily. Do I have to get her a towel too? And which towel? There were other characters, but no other princesses. This towel was so obviously perfect for Rose’s Cinderella passion, but there is no such obsession in Lily’s life. In fact, Lily has no favorite anything. If you ask her what princess she likes the best, she will answer “all of them”. If you ask her her favorite color, she says “rainbow”. Who is her best friend at school? “Everyone.” It’s a wonderful personality trait of hers that she doesn’t play favorites, but it also makes it really hard sometimes. There is no perfect anything for Lily (aside from an $80 Lego kit she’s been eyeing).
When I see a blue dress or Cinderella anything, I want to buy it for Rose. There is nothing parallel to that that ever makes me discover a toy or outfit and think “OMG, Lily must have this.” when I had absolutely no plans to buy a treat that day. And I don’t know what to do with that.
It’s not fair for me to constantly come home with blue/Cinderella stuff for Rose, but never come home with stuff for Lily because nothing practically jumped off the shelf yelling “LILY MUST HAVE ME!” I mean, I understand that both kids don’t always have to get presents at once. Sometimes you find something for one kid but not the other and the kids have to get used to that. That’s part of life that they need to understand, but the way things are going Rose would get constant presents while Lily got nothing.
When I found the Cinderella towel, I just didn’t know what to do. An occasional treat for just one kid is to be expected, but every time the kids take a bath Lily would be reminded of any jealousy she might have feel over this towel. We could say “it’s just a towel”, but look at that thing! It’s awesome! I thought about coming home with one of the cheaper Lego kits as a token prize of my finding something perfect for Rose, but that seemed unfair. If my sister had a hooded towel that awesome, I’d probably want one too even if I usually preferred another type of toy.
I ended up coming home with nothing for Lily and explaining that she could have something of equal or lesser value if she wanted. I explained there were other characters she could choose from OR other toys. She immediately said she wanted the exact same towel as Rose. Phew!
Now that works for this time, but what will happen next time? Will I ever see something in a store and think “LILY!” right away? It just seems so unfair that all these perfect things exist for Rose, and Lily gets “treats” to make up for it. I wish I could find a way to fix this.
I hope that someday there is something “perfect” for Lily. Until then, I guess I’ll just do my best to keep the random gifts fair?