Hate House

This is part five of the Hate Fence Saga. For the full story, start here and work your way back.

The half Hate Fence was such an eyesore. It was by far the ugliest thing in our yard. Sure, we have a lot of Little Tikes stuff, but we have it spaced out nicely. Perhaps I’m in denial, but I like to think our backyard just looks like a children’s resort of fun rather than something ugly.

For Lily and Rose’s birthday last year, we decided to combine their “fun” money from their grandfather to get them a giant plastic playhouse.
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It is an adorable sugar-coated delight, but I immediately named it the Hate House because I knew exactly where I wanted to put it.

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Look at that cute house hate on the neighbors! Take that, Hate Fencers! (And yes, I just ran outside at 11 pm to take that picture because I realized no picture of the Hate House in its proper home existed despite my planning to write about this for MONTHS. Oops.)

I like to pretend that the Hate House blocks out the unsightly seam where the Half Hate Fence ends. It makes it less obvious that our split rail is being interrupted. Now that the Hate House is there, I don’t mind the Hate Fence nearly as much.

There’s also the added bonus of my Hate Fence neighbors possibly getting annoyed with the Hate House being so close to their yard. Not only do they have to look at it, but they have to hear my kids playing in it all the time. Maybe this will be the final push that gets us hated enough to get our own Hate Fence!

It’s been about 9 months since we got the playhouse. In that time, we also painted our swingset to match the playhouse, which my Hate Fence neighbors actually love, much to my disappointment. It doesn’t look like we can provoke these people to finish what they started. In fact, I suspect if the Hate Fence ever does get finished, it won’t be because of us. If they finish it, it will probably be because of the new neighbors to our west, who have a rack of boats in their yard, park a ton of cars in the street, rev their motorcycles, leave their dog loose, blast music, set off fireworks at 11 pm NOT on the July 4 and recently had the cops called on them about who knows what. Heck, if it weren’t for the cost, I’d be building a Hate Fence against THOSE guys right now.

Lest you think otherwise, we actually love most of the people in our neighborhood and have a lot of friends here. We just got “lucky” and got two of the most interesting situations in the subdivision directly next door to us. I usually don’t care what people do with their yards until what they do directly affects me. If we have to do extra weeding or plant bushes to hide something ugly in OUR yard because of YOUR fence, I get pretty annoyed. Though I must admit, as annoyed as the Hate Fence makes me, I mostly think the situation is funny. Who the hell builds a fence the way they did? It just doesn’t make any sense!

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5 Responses to Hate House

  1. barney

    That night picture of a toy house you renamed like that, gives it 10 new levels of creepiness. Scary…

  2. What do you think of Arborvitae or Photinias? Grow 6-8 feet in 2 years, makes a great shrub wall, would hide the weird Hate Fence/split rail combo and eliminate the need to weed. And also eliminate the need to interact with crazy….

    • We should plant something there, but my husband says it’s too hard to mow around plants for some reason. I’m working on convincing him otherwise because I’d like some trees back there.

  3. Buddy

    Lady, you have way too much time on your hands

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