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Forcible Drawing

Long ago, I made the mistake of drawing Lily some of her favorite cartoon characters. I’m no expert, but my Boots monkey bears enough of a resemblance to the real Boots monkey that she obsessively asked me to draw it again. Ever since then, whenever crayons or chalk come out instead of my kids drawing, I am forced to repeatedly draw Dora, Boots and a few other characters.

Things I'm being forced to draw against my will

Some of my characters are better mastered than others. If you can call ANY of them “mastered”.

Now Rose is in on the action and I really feel like I’m being accosted with the two of them after me to draw. Drawing should be about THEM coloring and drawing, but somehow it’s become this event where crayons or chalk are physically forced into my hands and small people are yelling “Draw Dora, Mommy! Draw Dora, Mommy!” over and over again, even if I just drew Dora 2 seconds beforehand.

Even my husband is being forced to draw these characters.

I should stop trying so hard because my kids recognize THESE as the characters!

Rose is particularly forceful and will find paper and a crayon and carry it across the house to find me, interrupt whatever I’m doing and “force” me to draw for her. She demands Dora, Boots, Elmo and Baby Elmo (a slightly smaller Elmo from a time I accidentally drew two of them) over and over again, to the point where I get an exasperated tone with her and refuse. “NO! I JUST drew Dora. She’s right here. I am not drawing her again! Go do something else! Or better yet, YOU draw Dora!”

Seriously. I thought the KIDS were supposed to draw, or at least color what I draw for them. Instead drawing is about watching Mommy create poor-to-mediocre imitations of tv characters and family members.

Someday they HAVE TO draw their own Dora, right?

If I have to draw Dora one more time, I’m going to scream. Not only is it boring and repetitive, but my inability to get her freakish pumpkin head the right shape irks me to no end. Why can’t I get her chin right? And MORE seriously WTF is up with her freakish pumpkin head to begin with?

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TV Tuesday: Swiper, No Swiping

Has there ever been a foe more stupid than Swiper the Fox? I don’t understand why Boots and Dora worry about Swiper. Most of the time he is forced to stop his swiping ways if they are able to say “Swiper, no swiping!” three times. What sort of life lesson does that teach children? Can you imagine your daughter as an adult yelling “Mugger, no mugging!” three times while someone is snatching her purse? Our kids are going to be so disappointed when this doesn’t work.

If Swiper does manage to swipe, he just throws his goods into the bushes and Dora and Boots are able to reclaim it after a short hunt. Why go to the bother of stealing someone else’s stuff if you aren’t even going to use it? Is it just for the thrill of the steal?

Not that I want much danger in my children’s tv, but if Swiper is going to be a thieving villain, I want him to be an actual menace. I want Dora and Boots to do something legitimate to prevent Swiper from stealing from them. Short of that, if Swiper actually succeeds in swiping, he should keep the loot! Instead, we have this lame villain.

It’s fun to yell “Swiper, no swiping” and to hunt for missing items, I just wish there were actual consequences to Swiper’s thieving ways.

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