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Cinderella WTF

For the sixth night of Hanukkah, Rose got “Cinderella II” AND “Cinderella III”. I gave the gift early in the day so we could watch both movies. Since Rose is 3, she wanted to watch “Cinderella III” first. “It’s 3 like me! I’m 3!”

“Cinderella III” was fantastic. The Evil Stepmother gets her hands on Fairy Godmother’s wand and makes it so the prince believes he fell in love with the ugly stepsister Anastasia. Aside from the main plot where Cinderella is trying to get out of the hell world her stepmother forced her into and prove to the prince that SHE was the one he loved, a big part of the story is that Anastasia dreams of finding love. She just wants SOMEONE to love her because no one has ever loved her before. Doesn’t she deserve love? She goes on and on about it.

Except when we watched “Cinderella II” later, we discovered that one of the storylines involved Cinderella helping Anastasia achieving her dream of getting together with the baker, whom she loved. The baker was also in love with Anastasia.

It wasn’t like this was just a little thing in passing. It’s a major part of the movie. It’s part of the title “Cinderella II: Dreams Come True”. At the end of the movie, Anastasia declares something along the lines of “Dreams really do come true” after she’s able to be with the baker she loves. It implies they live happily ever after.

So my question is did the makers of “Cinderella III” even watch “Cinderella II”? It doesn’t make any sense for Anastasia to be after love in “Cinderella III” if her goal of finding it was a major story line AND achievement in “Cinderella II”.

I don’t understand why Anastasia was used in both movies. There’s a perfectly good second stepsister to use for the love lusting in “Cinderella III”. I know Drizella is pretty mean, but does she not also deserve love in her life?

WTF, Disney? This doesn’t make any sense!

To be fair, “Cinderella III” was a far superior to “Cinderella II”. I had trouble paying attention to “II” and honestly didn’t see the whole thing because I was a) bored and b) taking care of a tired baby. Maybe “III” was just supposed to be a reboot? I don’t know. But seriously, Drizella was right there. All plot conflicts could have been solved if SHE was the one seeking true love in “III”. Or, better yet, if the stepmother wanted the riches of royalty so badly, why didn’t she use the magic to get herself married to the prince?

Disney, WTF?



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Cinderella’s Stalker

Somebody was pretty interested with the Cinderella castle my mom got Rose for her birthday (Tomorrow! Three! OMG!). My mom said that right after she assembled the castle, Merlin the cat came to investigate.

Merlin may be the reason that Rose now thinks she’s a cat. Lily certainly wishes we had a cat, but unfortunately Dr. Toy Warden and I are very allergic to cats and I have asthma to boot, so no cats will be living here. Dogs? Sure. Cats? No. It’s quite a tragedy considering Rose thinks she’s a cat.

Maybe Rose wants to be a cat because cats clearly love Cinderella, just like she does.

It probably would have been easier to play with the dolls if Merlin had had the presence of mind to come to the other side of the dollhouse.

Anastasia and Drusilla seem quite shocked that a giant cat is invading their home. Actually, this isn’t their home. These bitches don’t deserve to live in the castle. What are they doing there? Are they at the ball? But it doesn’t seem to be the ball? Hmmm…

Whatever the case, there are more pictures of the cat playing with this castle than the girls. A cat playing dolls is way more funny than girls playing with dolls. I think Merlin the cat may have been inspired by this classic “Sesame Street” clip.

How big was that dollhouse?!


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Little Blue Dresses

Cinderella is the best when you are a 3 year old half-Korean kid. Cinderella is so great that Rose wants to be her and thinks that by wearing a blue dress every day she is actively being Cinderella or at least paying tribute to her.

We have four Cinderella costumes. Doesn't everyone?

Six months ago she was having so many tantrums about getting dressed in any outfit that wasn’t blue that I went out and bought her a new blue wardrobe for summer. Sure, there were dozens of hand-me-down outfits in a rainbow of colors from her big sister, but all of those outfits got shoved to the back of the closet. She never wore them. At the time, I assumed this was her ploy to wear new clothes instead of her big sister’s leftovers.

I was scared at the time that she might switch colors on me, but nope. Every time we go to the closet she insists that she should wear another blue dress. Occasionally I can con her into wearing a different colored dress or (shocking) pants, but most days it has to be blue. We also can get away with a patterned dress as long as there’s blue somewhere in the pattern, but blue MUST be in the outfit. It MUST! Only dorks wear things that aren’t blue.

Apparently there are a lot of dorky 3 year olds out there because it’s hard to compile a completely blue wardrobe, especially when each item must be a blue dress, or this winter a LONG-SLEEVED blue dress. I contemplated putting long-sleeved shirts under each and every summer blue dress, but it turns out that long-sleeved white shirts cost almost as much as long sleeved blue dresses. Ridiculous and annoying. A second blue dress wardrobe was in order this winter.

Do you have any idea how ridiculously hard it is to hunt down 14ish long-sleeved blue dresses in 4T or 4-5 for less than $10 each? It is no easy feat. Even with the internet, I feel like I’m looking for a needle in a haystack. Prior to the blue dress obsession I was able to get the kids wardrobes that were almost 100% used in one to two trips to Once Upon a Child. Not anymore. I’m at no less than 10 stores and multiple websites hunting for blue dresses. I’m bidding on blue dresses on eBay (I’ve only won one so far). I’m hunting at thrift stores. We need blue dresses. I feel like finding affordable blue dresses has become a full time job.

This is what your closet would look like if you were 3 and insisted on wearing only blue dresses.

In case you are wondering or in a similar conundrum, Old Navy has the best selection of inexpensive long-sleeved blue dresses.

Blue nightgowns are also crucial to this Cinderella facade. Not pictured: Blue jackets, shoes, bows and costumes.

Of course, now that the entire blue dress wardrobe has been assembled for this winter, this morning Rose, who is now so involved with pretending to be a cat that the other night she was meowing in her sleep, came to me and said “Cats don’t wear blue dresses. Cats wear brown.”

Only the coolest 3 year olds wear blue every single day.

I almost died, but luckily a picture of a blue cat a friend found on google convinced her that blue is still AOK. In fact, maybe I can convince her that cats wear ALL the colors and we can use the multi-colored wardrobe we already owned again. Seriously, that girl’s closet was bursting BEFORE we started buying blue dresses. This is ridiculous.



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One Shoe

In Rose’s world, Cinderella’s shoe loss is the most traumatic and important thing that happens to Cinderella. The first time we read a book about Cinderella, Rose went on and on about “Oh no, ‘Rella lost shoe! Oh no, her shoe!” for a long, long time.

Recently we got a Barbie-sized Cinderella doll. Whenever we get Barbies and other small dolls, I superglue the shoes right on those suckers. We are not going to have a ton of Barbie shoes just lost all over the place and in our vacuum cleaner at our house. If a tiny doll comes in here with shoes, we’re going to superglue that sucker right up. I don’t care how many blisters those dolls get on their toes from wearing high heels all the time, those tiny bastard shoes are staying on their feet.

Since I’ve told this girls this is what you do with doll shoes from the beginning, Lily WANTS her dolls to keep their shoes on with glue and hasn’t tried to remove them. Rose, however, had other ideas. The second I handed Cinderella back to Rose, Rose ripped one of Cinderella’s shoes right off. NO!!!!!

I tried to convince her that she should leave the shoe on and she pointed out that I was wrong.

“No, Mommy! Cinderella only has one shoe!”

You can’t properly play Cinderella if the tiny Barbie shoes can’t come off.

In fact, all of Rose’s Cinderella dolls traipse around here with only one shoe on. She repeatedly asks me where the other shoe is even though she’s the one who purposefully removes the shoes.

To top this off, lately I noticed ROSE is limping around here in a Cinderella costume with only one Cinderella glass slipper on her foot.

Cinderella only wears one shoe and when you are (almost) 3, this is very VERY important.


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“And Then I’ll Be Naked!”

Northwest Ohio is ridiculously windy. When we first moved here, I was terrified that global warming had kicked it into high gear all of a sudden in the form of insane wind. Around here, it can be a beautiful 70-degree day without a cloud in the sky, but when you walk outside the wind will knock you on your ass. I used to work in Chicago. The Windy City has NOTHING on Northwest Ohio wind. Toledo really should take the Windy City title from Chicago (even if Chicago’s title has little to do with actual wind.).

Earlier this week, the girls were playing dress up and decided we should go for a walk in costume. I absolutely supported this idea. Little kids should wear costumes all the time. If I could wear a Cinderella dress out in public on a random Friday afternoon and no one would question it, I’d totally do it.

Totally how I'd dress to go out in public if I were 3-5 years old.

Rose was wearing her Cinderella dress (like she does 90% of the time she’s at home, usually over whatever Cinderella-inspired blue dress she’s wearing) and it was whipping around in the wind. There were several moments where she resembled that famous picture of Marilyn Monroe over the subway grate.

I’ve become so used to this awful wind that I wouldn’t even label this as a windy day, but Rose still had a lot to say about the wind blowing her dress.

“The wind is going to blow off my dress! My dress will be gone and then I’ll be in my underwear! Then the wind will blow off my underwear and then I’ll be naked! I’ll be naked outside and my dress and underwear will be gone in the wind!”

Oh my!

“I’ll be naked and I’ll be walking down the street outside!”

Amazingly, both Rose’s underwear and dress did NOT blow away in the wind. Yet.


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How to Make Sure Your Kids Are Warm on Halloween

Growing up in the Midwest, I was always freezing on Halloween. We would plan my cute little costume for weeks only to have me wear a giant puffy coat over it so no one could see it. Cold weather always ruined my costume. I was outraged over it for many years.

Flash forward to now. I have three little kids who need Halloween costumes. So far, I’ve managed to keep them warm on Halloween without compromising their costumes OR their need to have princessy parts to the costume. Every year so far I’ve convinced the kids to be animals. Last year the girls were kangaroo ballerinas– kangaroos in tutus.

When I told people what I planned for their costumes last year, they said "Is that an actual thing?" Nope! It's called creativity, people! Use it.

They were warm, they were cute, but they were still animals. While we are out we pass a million and one little girls wearing princess costumes covered with giant puffy coats. Their costumes are ruined and they are unhappy about it. My kids’ costumes got a lot of comments– you could see the whole costume and no one else had anything like it.

This year Lily wanted to be a giraffe in a tutu, which was awesome with me. Rose wanted to be Cinderella. Duh. If she’s Cinderella, she’s going to be one of the masses in her princess costume with a puffy coat over it. I wasn’t excited about this prospect, but she can be whatever she wants to be.

Today I came home with a cow costume for Violet and everybody changed their plans in a fit of “OMG the baby is so cute!” glee. Lily wants to be a “Mommy” cow wearing a tutu. Rose wants to be a horse, but she also wants to be Cinderella.

So she’s going to be both. She is going to be a horse who is pretending to be Cinderella– or a horse in a Cinderella costume.

She’ll be warm. She’ll be a horse. She’ll be Cinderella. She’ll be adorable.

We already have multiple Cinderella costumes. We already have multiple tutus. All I have to do is add the accessories to the animal costumes and we’ll be set.

And that’s how you keep your kids warm on Halloween: Doubled up costumes. An added bonus is that when you add crazy accessories to your plush animal costumes, your kid will surely have one of the most unique costumes on the block. There will be other horses and Cinderellas, but I’m pretty sure Rose will be the only HORSE Cinderella and just as Lily will be the only mommy cow ballerina.

And if you think I’m crazy for starting work on Halloween costumes now, you don’t have children. Halloween celebrations start at the beginning of October these days! It’s non-stop costume activities for weeks and weeks. Candy orgies everywhere. The pounds add up and nobody can fit in their costumes by the time the REAL event actually happens.

Halloween rocks.



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Cinderelly, Cinderelly

I think someone must have spilled juice or something in the kitchen and the floor has been mop and 409-resistant sticky, so I scoured the floor today. And it’s still kind of sticky. Aren’t children marvelous? Before kids, I used to mop maybe four times a year. Now I mop weekly and even getting on my hands and knees with a scouring brush doesn’t get things completely clean.

When Rose discovered me in there on my hands and knees, she got very interested and sat next to me watching my every move. After non-stop commentary about how I had bubbles and water and a scouring brush and a sponge and how I was washing the floor, Rose revealed why she was really watching me.

“Mommy, you’re being Cinderella.”

If you don’t recall, there’s a scene in Cinderella where she is washing the floor while singing.

I shouldn’t have been surprised that she made this association because she and Lily recently told me they loved Cinderella because she washed the floor and had a nice stepmother.

I certainly FELT like Cinderella, but sadly my prince has already come and I’m still scrubbing floors, doing laundry and mending clothes. Somehow I don’t think Cinderella was still doing chores after the prince married her.

Rose is as obsessed with Cinderella as ever. She thankfully will accept non-blue dresses now, but most of the day she plays with princess dolls, talks about how blue is her favorite color and sings songs from Cinderella. As she watched me clean the floor she got more and more insistent that I was Cinderella.

Before I was washing the floor like Cinderella, Rose donned a blue dress and showed her little sister two of her Cinderella dolls.

“I want to be Cinderella too. I need a sponge.”

Who can argue with a kid who wants to wash the floor?

I gave her a sponge and taught her how to dunk, ring and wipe with it. She was actually pretty good for someone who is not quite 3 years old yet. Lily came in to find us and announced she also wanted to wash the floor.

“Oh! You’re both washing the floor like Cinderella!”

They were very focused on being as Cinderella-like as possible.

I gave her a sponge too. This kept them occupied for well over an hour. I stopped washing because I was out of floor cleaner, but they kept right at it with just water. My floor is cleaner from it (but still sticky by the fridge. Going to tackle it with vinegar and dawn next.).

I might just have them “play Cinderella” on a weekly basis! If it weren’t for the constant requests to change out of wet dresses, I might do this every day.

I’m glad this Cinderella obsession finally got put to good use.


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Cinderella is awesome because…

The answer to “Where’s Woof Woof?” is that Woof Woof is in every single picture except the one with my brother-in-law reading “Fairy Tales For Girls”. Oddly, Woof Woof didn’t go to the grocery store with us today, but Rose brought Baby Woof Woof who has been largely ignored lately. It MIGHT have had something to do with my putting Baby Woof Woof’s Cinderella dress back on her.

I asked Rose today why Cinderella is her favorite thing on earth.

“Because she cleans the floor! She cleans the whole floor!”

Apparently cleaning the floor makes you an awesome role model, which is interesting because Rose herself has never ever cleaned the floor.

Lily chimed in, “She has a stepmother who is SO nice!”

I kept asking if she was sure the stepmother was nice because, hello, Cinderella’s stepmother is notoriously evil. In fact, she’s known as “Cinderella’s Evil Stepmother”. I mean, that’s what she’s called! But Lily thinks she’s nice. I asked if she was sure she didn’t mean the Fairy Godmother.

“The Fairy Godmother is nice too, but the stepmother is REALLY nice.”

Is this because the stepmother makes Cinderella clean and I make Lily clean? Does this mean I’m like the evil stepmother and people who boss you around are always nice?

And those are the things I’m paranoid about today.

For the record, here are the things Lily is expected to clean: HER toys, HER books and HER crayons. It’s true that she cleans up after her mess-making accomplice Rose too, but I really don’t think it’s at an evil stepmother level AND there are rewards– stickers that can be turned into prizes such as a new dress for Woof Woof.

I think we need to have a “Tangled” level talk about what characters in “Cinderella” are nice and mean. Maybe the part where the stepmother tells Cinderella she can go to the ball if she does all her work is confusing to her?



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Blue Dress Drama

Now that Rose has actually seen “Cinderella”, her fever pitch obsession with her blue costume has grown more intense. She doesn’t want to take the costume off EVER. If she’s going to bed, she HAS TO wear her blue nightgown. If we are leaving the house, she throws a big tantrum when I try to get her dressed in anything that’s not blue. If she already has her costume on, we have a big bloody battle to get it off and put her in real clothes.

I’d just leave the costume on to save myself the headache, but it’s too cold out and she often has pjs on under it. The girl needs to wear some real clothes outside of the house. Besides which, the costume is getting really worn out and I don’t think it would last long if I allowed it to be worn even more. I make concessions. I’m ok with her wearing her crown and princess jewelry out, but I really want her to wear real clothes outside!

I’ve been on the hunt to make her spring wardrobe 100% blue dresses to stop the madness. Last week I was searching for dresses online and she got very excited when I showed her the dresses I’d found. “I want a new blue dress! I want a new blue dress!” It’s almost disturbing how aware she is of clothes and girly things.

The next day we went to Kohls and bought her a new blue cotton dress for spring. She was so excited when she saw it that she started yelling about Cinderella and blue dresses. She got her greedy little toddler paws on the dress and wouldn’t let it go. I had to battle her for it to get it scanned by the cashier. She wanted to hold it in three stores we went to after that.

When we got home, she put on her new dress and wore it for three days straight before I had to fight her to put on something else because it needed to be washed. When her dad got home, she ran up to him and immediately began yelling “Daddy, see my new blue dress? Is it pretty?”

This is age 2. What’s she going to be like when she’s 15?! I’m scared.

I definitely need at least 6 more blue dresses because I can’t have this girl wear the same dress every day! I’ve been trying to sell her on other colors. Sleeping Beauty and Ariel wear pink! Tianna wears green! Belle wears yellow! Rapunzel wears purple! She’s not buying any of that. The dress has to be blue.



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They ripped her dress!

Rose has been obsessed with Cinderella for probably a year, but had never seen the movie. She has three Cinderella dolls and spends a lot of time traipsing around here in a Cinderella costume. Even her Woof Woof has a Cinderella costume. Every morning, she wakes up and asks to wear her only non-costume blue dress because it is like Cinderella’s. Every night before she goes to bed she begs to wear her blue nightgown. I have to disappoint her most days due to the laundry cycle, but it’s pretty clear that if she could wear a blue dress like Cinderella every day, she would.

The other day we were in a used bookstore and I finally found a VHS copy of the movie. Yes, VHS. We still use our VCR sometimes. It’s had a bad habit of chewing up tapes and refusing to rewind things lately, but it will play a previously rewinded tape without too much hassle. I figured even if the VCR ate the tape after the first viewing, for $1.50 it was worth it. Rose finally got her chance  to see her beloved Cinderella in action.

It was a hit. Would you expect anything else? After all this obsession, I doubt Cinderella would have to do much to impress her, but the movie is pretty delightful and perhaps the most toddler friendly of the Disney Princess franchise. It has talking, singing mice and birds doing cute things the whole time and there isn’t nearly as much violence or suspense as the other movies. It’s the ultimate princess movie for a 2 year old.

And what did Rose take away from this enchanting movie? Stories about cat and mouse antics? Adoration of Cinderella finding her dreams?


Before the movie was even over Rose was yelling over and over again about how Cinderella’s stepsisters ripped her dress and necklace.

“They ripped her dress! They ripped her dress! That’s not so good! That’s not right! They ripped her necklace!”

Without context, this sounds like a rape scene, but she is indeed just talking about when Cinderella’s ugly stepsisters take back their ribbons and beads. I guess that really struck a cord with her. For some reason that sticks out in her mind over the sea witch tormenting Ariel at the bottom of a whirlpool or Jafar turning into a giant snake and trying to slay Aladdin while Jasmine nearly drowns in the sand of an hourglass. I consider the violence and conflict in the Cinderella scene relatively minor compared to most things in most children’s movies. Rose remembers it over anything else that has ever happened in a movie.

I think she was so struck by this because of her obsession with clothes. If someone were to rip her princess dress, she would be very very upset. Whenever one of her bead necklaces break (happens more often than you would think. 2 year old + beads = trouble), Rose goes on about it for days. I guess she relates more to broken pretty things than an evil giant snake coming at her?

Whatever the case, she’s already asking to watch the movie again and our VCR is refusing to rewind it. Thank goodness “Cinderella” is back out on DVD this fall– or maybe I should be wishing it wasn’t. I can only take so much “They ripped her dress! They ripped her necklace! That’s not nice!”

It’s cute, but it’s also disconcerting.


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