Tag Archives: dolls

Toy WTF: Pig Baby

I was recently accosted by this Lots to Cuddle Fun Sounds doll in the clearance aisle of my local Walmart.

Exactly what I envisioned when I set out to have babies: a pig baby.

It’s a creepy looking baby in a pig costume, holding a stuffed pig. Clearly this baby is a fan of pigs. I might be ok with that. Babies in costumes are cute even if this particular baby doll is ugly. So the toy company messed up and made an ugly baby doll in a pig costume. I can live with that.

What I can’t live with is the sound this baby makes when you squeeze it.

It oinks like a pig.

This in and of itself is not that strange considering it’s dressed like a pig. What’s strange, what’s creepy is that it oinks in a pig voice.

This is a baby that oinks in a pig voice.

If you’re thinking it’s the stuffed pig that must be oinking, you are mistaken. It is clearly the baby and not the pig. The sensor is on the baby. The pig can be removed from the baby and used as a separate toy.

I repeat this baby oinks in a pig voice.

Is it really a pig with a baby face? Is it the pig baby from “Alice in Wonderland”? I really don’t get what’s going on here.

I’m super creeped out by this doll. Why doesn’t it oink in a baby voice? It’s a baby! No baby can do a pig impression this good. If a baby must make a pig noise (and I don’t see why it must, but whatever), it should oink in a baby voice!

Because there are apparently not enough creepy dolls in this world, there are four other Lots to Cuddle Fun Sounds dolls– a chick, a cow, a kitty and a puppy. I haven’t actually seen these dolls in person so I can’t attest to whether or not they make animal sounds in baby voices or animals voices. I hope it’s animal voices because I do enjoy a creepy doll. So far, though, I think the pig is the creepiest in this line of dolls.

Pig babies. Ew! I think I’ll stick to my human babies… and avoid any pig costumes this Halloween because I’m creeped out!

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Party Girl

Almost three years ago, I banished our toddler-sized table to the basement. Lily couldn’t walk yet, but she was a daring climber and kept getting herself on top of the table and pulling herself up on the back of the couch to standing. Then she’d let go and just stand there on unsteady feet. I was terrified she’d fall off the table and bash her head open on a chair. She kept climbing up over and over and over again and I couldn’t handle the stress of monitoring her with it, so it’s lived in our basement ever since.

Saturday we had a bunch of people over for a barbecue and I had my husband bring the table up while Rose was napping. She’d never seen the table before and got super excited when she woke up and discovered it in our dining area.

What happened next just highlights the extreme contrast between our two girls. As I posted earlier this week, Lily wanted nothing to do with princess costumes in her ballet class. She’s never been into dolls and hates princess movies. We’ve never had a tea party because she has no interest in pretending like her dolls and stuffed animals are doing anything besides being dolls and stuffed animals. She would rather do a puzzle, build with blocks or play obsessively with letters and numbers than ever do these things. We think she’s an engineer in the making.

Rose saw this table, squealed and immediately ran to get a stuffed panda and a doll, whom she set up in the chairs around the table. She then got some cups and promptly started serving her little “friends” drinks.

Rose is only 20 months old and has never had a tea party because Lily was so uninterested in such things that I never bought a proper set and stopped trying for tea parties with other makeshift materials. Rose thought to do this all on her own. I asked her if she was having a tea party and she started screaming “PARTY! PARTY! PARTY!” and continued to serve her “friends”. If anyone tried to move one of her “friends”, she’d scream out in protest. This was HER table and HER party and even real little girl friends who’d come to visit us were not allowed to interrupt her.

When Lily saw that Rose was having a tea party with her “friends”, Lily got really upset.

“I don’t want to have a pretend party! I want to have a real party! I don’t want to drink tea with stuffed animals!”

Ok then. (Lucky for her, we WERE having a real “party” that day. Not sure what to do the next time Rose has a “party”.)

So, I need to get Rose a real tea set, but avoid anything girly-related for my tomboy (except for ballet).

Are these girls even related? I’m pretty sure we took the right babies home… I mean, how many half Korean baby girls could have been born those particular days?

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Kids Play: My Parents Live in a Box

I started this blog because of Lily’s hilarious interactions with her Little People, and she immediately started ignoring them. Well, she couldn’t ignore them forever. Little People are back with a vengeance. Lily’s latest obsession with them has expanded their universe from our suburban home in Ohio to my parents’ farm in Indiana.

We “only” have one Little People house, so Lily constructed one for my parents. The “house” is the Rubbermaid plastic storage tub we keep the Little People in when we aren’t playing with them. My parents apparently live in a box! I grew up in that “house”, so I get to say I was raised in a box!

To get to Indiana, the entire family, including my parents, gets in the dump truck, driven by my friend Dan, and travels back and forth between Indiana and Ohio. The trips take less than 5 seconds. If that were true in real life, things would be MUCH less complicated, though I don’t think riding in the back of a crowded dump truck would be very comfortable.

Also, this fantasy dump truck job my friend Dan has seems to be excruciatingly boring and time-consuming. Real life Dan is in medical school and I don’t see how he has time to study what with all the chauffeuring he’s doing for my family in Little People World. I know driving us around in a dump truck is fun, but get your priorities straight, Little People Dan.

This is totally how we travel.

None of the Little People talk to each other at any part of this voyage. They just visit each other. Once all the dolls get back to our house, everyone goes to sleep on the floor. The two dogs sleep on the roof with my husband and I.

I just love to sleep on the roof with 2 dogs.

These representations of our life never cease to amuse me.

Share your toy stories on this blog by emailing them to creativekidsplay@gmail.com.

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Toy WTF: Removable Hats

For some reason I can’t even imagine, doll makers seem to think babies don’t exist without hats. Every single baby doll that has entered this house came with a removable hat attached to her outfit by a thin thread.

How the dolls should allegedly look.

The hats are cute, sure, but they don’t work. They never stay on, not for more than 5 minutes of the gentlest play. The hats pop off moments after you put them on and always always look like this.

Dolls in their natural state.

The hats would be fine if they didn’t come off, but since they do, they pose a real problem. Every single time the hat pops off, one of my kids comes begging me to put the hat back on. So, pretty much every two minutes I’m putting a hat back on. My kids have great fine motor skills, but for some reason the hats are even difficult for ME to put back on. And, as I said, they never, ever stay on.

Why put hats on dolls if the hats don’t fit properly? It causes nothing but headaches. I love playing with my kids, but I don’t want to deal with the whining that comes with fixing those hats every 2 minutes. It’s ridiculous. There’s no good reason for those dolls to be wearing hats in the first place.

I would remove the hats permanently, but then my daughter would freak out that the doll had lost her hat. Next time we buy a doll, I’m going to dispose of the hat before the kids get used to it. It’s just not worth the aggravation.

And it’s not just baby dolls that have hats that won’t stay on. If you rattle our Toy Story Woody and Jessie dolls even a little bit, their hats fly across the room. We are constantly searching for those hats or hearing kids get upset because the hat won’t stay on while they are playing with them. Our Woody doll even has a sensor that complains about the hat going missing and thanks you for finding it. It’s neat and all, but I really wish that if the hat is necessary it was secured firmly to the dolls head.

Removable hats on toys cause nothing but heartache.

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Kids Play: A Good Drink

Apparently, Toy Story Woody drinks from bottles. He’s totally the same thing as a baby doll.

Cowboy hits the bottle.

Share your funny kid moments on this blog by emailing them to creativekidsplay@gmail.com.

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Kids Play: Expert Diaper-Care

The other day, I put one of Rose’s diapers on Possessed Baby. I put it on her the normal traditional way you’d diaper a baby, only, you know, over her clothes instead of under them. A couple hours later, I found Possessed Baby like this:

I didn’t do that.

I also found a clean diaper rumpled up with its stickers undone nearby, but that could have been anything since we keep our spare diapers in a place easily accessed by children.

I asked Lily about it and she said she took the old diaper off Possessed Baby and got her a new one… which of course included diapering her arm.

Share your kid’s creativity on this blog by emailing pictures and/or stories to creativekidsplay@gmail.com.

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Kids Play: Piano Nap

I came into the playroom the other day to find Woody, Jessie, Rex and Bullseye stretched out lying across the piano.

(This picture doesn’t do the scene justice, but when Lily saw I was taking a picture, she jumped in the way of my shot and started taking dolls down.)

When I asked Lily what her dolls were doing, she said they were taking a nap.

Share your funny toy stories by submitting them to creativekidsplay@gmail.com.

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Kids Play: Woody’s Gas Tank

Today my husband caught Lily fueling Woody up at the Little People garage. Apparently, his empty gun holster is how you get gas into his “tank”.

I never knew Woody was a fuel-based toy.

Share your amusing toy stories on this blog by emailing them to creativekidsplay@gmail.com.

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Kids Play: Stomach Flu Jamie

Nicole’s daughter L has a baby doll named Jamie who has become a member of the family. Jamie has been known to join in family pictures and wear matching dresses with L and her sister G. Jamie does everything that L does, including get sick.

Sometimes Jamie gets so sick she has to throw up in her toy toilet.

When Jamie gets sick, L goes into full doctor play mode. L gives Jamie a very complete check-up including listening to her chest with a stethoscope, taking her temperature with an ear thermometer and, most importantly, suctioning Jamie’s nose. What check-up wouldn’t be complete without some booger-sucking?

Once the check-up is complete, Jamie gets a dose of medicine.

And, of course, once Jamie had her medicine she was magically well enough to go to the beauty salon to get her non-existent hair cut and styled. Her equally bald twin sister Jessie also needed a cut and style. I hope that stomach flu wasn’t contagious!

Thanks for the submission, Nicole!

Share your kid’s toy creativity by sending pictures and stories to creativekidsplay@gmail.com for publication on this blog.

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Kids Play: Possessed Dolly

This may look like an innocent doll, but really she’s possessed and may possibly be plotting to kill us.

We’ve had this doll for 18 months and she has never spoken. Earlier this week when my baby was playing with her, I kept hearing a very clear “hi”, “bye” and “see you”. I kept wondering if my baby was saying this. She can say “hi” and possibly “bye” and there’s any number of syllables she could combine to sound like “see you”. Then I realized that sometimes I was hearing these words when the baby’s mouth wasn’t moving.

Suddenly it occurred to me that the DOLL was talking. The doll who hadn’t spoken in the entire 18 month (or longer!) period of time we’ve had her was suddenly saying three different things. Sure, the doll had a giggle function, but no words had ever come out of her mouth before. How on earth did she learn to talk?

Surely she must be possessed! My husband and I decided we were clearly in a “Twilight Zone” episode. The doll was weirding us out! We feared she was planning our murders. We considered throwing her out, but then we worried that if we threw her out we’d only anger her more– then we’d be goners for sure.

In the end, I decided to investigate the doll further and discovered, deep beneath her outer back zipper in a place I could barely reach, she had a mode switch. I’ve come to the conclusion that for the past 18 months this doll has been on “Demo” mode and somehow, perhaps by being knocked around by children, her switch got knocked over to “Play”. “Play” mode includes the three phrases and a giggle.

And that’s the rational explanation of how our creepy doll started talking after 18 months of relative silence.

I still say she’s possessed and quite possibly plotting our murders. If there is never another post on this blog, the doll killed us.

This is not my first experience with a “possessed” talking toy, and I’m sure it won’t be my last. Share your “possessed” toy stories for publication on this blog by emailing them to creativekidsplay@gmail.com.

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