Tag Archives: hate fence saga

A Refuge for Christmas Trees

During the polar vortex last week, someone’s discarded Christmas tree blew into our yard.

“Another one of those damn trees blew into our yard!” said my husband. “Should I save it?”

It’s not the first time a discarded Christmas tree has ended up in our yard. It’s very windy and flat in this part of Ohio and, for some reason, our trash people tell us to put large trash out on a certain day and then don’t pick it up until many days of wind later. Random stuff gets blown into our yard all too often.

Based on all the trees in other people’s driveways this week, it is tree pick-up week. We wouldn’t know. We’re Jewish. We don’t have or want a Christmas tree, yet Christmas trees keep migrating to our house. It’s as if they KNOW we neglected them in December. The Christmas trees think we are lonely for a Christmas tree.

Don’t worry, Christmas trees, we hang out with MANY of you at many locations other than our house in December. You guys are kind of unavoidable. Especially when you decide to throw yourselves at our house.

Last time a tree landed in our yard, my husband “saved” it by throwing it into our backyard because he didn’t know how to get rid of it. It sat in our yard until spring. It was about as lovely as the hate fence, but whatever, it was my husband’s “project”. It was up to him to finish “saving” that tree.

This time, he was slightly wiser and left the tree near the sidewalk where it might be claimed by whoever lost it.

Nobody rescued the Christmas tree.

A few days later, I moved the tree to where trash pick-up happens since everyone else still has trees hanging out in their driveways. I assume the polar vortex delayed tree pick-up for a week the way it delayed trash pick-up for a week? (And let me tell you how much fun THAT was!!!)

Now all my neighbors probably think I gave in to the temptation of Christmas and put up a tree this year, after I told everyone we would not be decorating.

NOPE! We didn’t have a Christmas tree. Other people’s Christmas trees just feel sorry for us.

Or something.

Gosh, I hope the trash guys pick that tree up soon… and don’t charge us extra for the pick-up. STOP VISITING US, TREES!



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Hate House

This is part five of the Hate Fence Saga. For the full story, start here and work your way back.

The half Hate Fence was such an eyesore. It was by far the ugliest thing in our yard. Sure, we have a lot of Little Tikes stuff, but we have it spaced out nicely. Perhaps I’m in denial, but I like to think our backyard just looks like a children’s resort of fun rather than something ugly.

For Lily and Rose’s birthday last year, we decided to combine their “fun” money from their grandfather to get them a giant plastic playhouse.

It is an adorable sugar-coated delight, but I immediately named it the Hate House because I knew exactly where I wanted to put it.


Look at that cute house hate on the neighbors! Take that, Hate Fencers! (And yes, I just ran outside at 11 pm to take that picture because I realized no picture of the Hate House in its proper home existed despite my planning to write about this for MONTHS. Oops.)

I like to pretend that the Hate House blocks out the unsightly seam where the Half Hate Fence ends. It makes it less obvious that our split rail is being interrupted. Now that the Hate House is there, I don’t mind the Hate Fence nearly as much.

There’s also the added bonus of my Hate Fence neighbors possibly getting annoyed with the Hate House being so close to their yard. Not only do they have to look at it, but they have to hear my kids playing in it all the time. Maybe this will be the final push that gets us hated enough to get our own Hate Fence!

It’s been about 9 months since we got the playhouse. In that time, we also painted our swingset to match the playhouse, which my Hate Fence neighbors actually love, much to my disappointment. It doesn’t look like we can provoke these people to finish what they started. In fact, I suspect if the Hate Fence ever does get finished, it won’t be because of us. If they finish it, it will probably be because of the new neighbors to our west, who have a rack of boats in their yard, park a ton of cars in the street, rev their motorcycles, leave their dog loose, blast music, set off fireworks at 11 pm NOT on the July 4 and recently had the cops called on them about who knows what. Heck, if it weren’t for the cost, I’d be building a Hate Fence against THOSE guys right now.

Lest you think otherwise, we actually love most of the people in our neighborhood and have a lot of friends here. We just got “lucky” and got two of the most interesting situations in the subdivision directly next door to us. I usually don’t care what people do with their yards until what they do directly affects me. If we have to do extra weeding or plant bushes to hide something ugly in OUR yard because of YOUR fence, I get pretty annoyed. Though I must admit, as annoyed as the Hate Fence makes me, I mostly think the situation is funny. Who the hell builds a fence the way they did? It just doesn’t make any sense!



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Hate Shade

This is Part IV of the Hate Fence Saga. Read the first three parts here, here, and here.

The spring after the most recent addition to the Hate Fence, I got very excited when a construction crew arrived at the Hate Fence neighbor’s house with a load of wood. Were they removing the neighborhood restricted privacy fence of hate and putting the split rail back up? Were they doing a bunch of work that included finishing the Hate Fence on our side?

Nope. They were building an extravagant deck with a built-in bench and a pergola. It stood on top of what had been a very nice patio that was about five years old and had to be in nice condition. The idea that they were doing the privacy fence piece by piece as their budget allowed was totally negated. They clearly had the money to finish the Hate Fence and convert it into a privacy fence if they could afford a deck like that when they already had a patio! Why on earth would you put in a deck of that magnitude BEFORE you finished your fence if you already had a patio? I don’t think the Hate Fence will ever be finished.

I was crushed when I realized we weren’t getting the rest of our Hate Fence. Why can’t they hate us? I know we are likeable and cute and everything, but block us out! We are always in the yard at the same time as them and it’s just awkward because they don’t really talk to us. We’ve tried to be friendly and even invited them to a Korean BBQ, which they didn’t attend despite the wife being Korean like my husband, but not much has happened with our relationship. All of our conversations go something like this “Your kids are so beautiful! They are getting big! They are so cute!” “Thanks! Your garden looks great!” Despite us being in the yard at the same time as them daily, the communication happens about once a month and I don’t believe I’ve ever said a word to the husband.

A couple weeks after the Amazing Deck went up, I came outside to find this.
Hate shade, anyone?

Granted, the shade is PROBABLY there to block out the sun and not us, but STILL. This sure would be a cheap solution, along with the trees along that side of the yard, to blocking us out.

I rather have a full Hate Fence! I’m so sick of being only HALF hated! Just seeing the line where the fence ends was driving me crazy, but soon I found a solution so I wouldn’t have to look at it. Tune in tomorrow to see what it was! And I know I promised a post for Wednesday and failed you all, but there are no fireworks tomorrow so it WILL happen.


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Extending the Hate

Shortly after the Hate Fence neighbors made the bizarre extension on their fence, they got new neighbors to their east. The new neighbors had two small dogs and two tween boys. I don’t know them. I hardly ever see them at all. They are almost never outside, but apparently they are outside enough to bother the Hate Fence people because guess what happened next?
This is the picture I posted on my personal facebook the day the new part of the Hate Fence went in. Who the hell erects a fence in the dead of winter?

When the construction truck arrived that morning, I was giddy with excitement. The construction crew had to be there to finish the stupid half a Hate Fence on our side, right?

When they started construction on the other side of the lot, I thought it was weird. Come on, do our side! It’s almost done! It’s almost there! Just put up a few more panels and we can move on from this monstrosity. I couldn’t conceive of a world where the fencers would leave without finishing our side.

The picture and my previous post already give away the conclusion. They did not finish our side. It is now a year later and the fence is still not finished on our side.

Why can’t these people just hate us? I want to be hated! I want my side of the Hate Fence done! But no! Clearly they like us! WHY? We are way more disruptive than their neighbors to the east. Our kids and dog are in and out all day. I yell at them outside sometimes when they misbehave and they whine and cry and scream. We have giant plastic Little Tikes stuff all over the yard. We haven’t done ANY landscaping back there.

And yet we still haven’t gotten our share of the Hate Fence! WHY? What do we need to do to be hated enough for a Hate Fence?

We have a couple theories about why they might like us or at least only HALF hate us. 1) They LOVE our dog Lumpy, not that I can blame them. Lumpy and their German Shepherd like to chase each other along the fence. Maybe they didn’t finish the fence so our dogs could keep playing. If this is the reason, it’s stupid because they constantly freak out that our kids might be too close to the fence and their dog might hurt them. You think your dog is dangerous? FINISH YOUR FENCE! 2) They are a Korean/Caucasian biracial couple just like us so maybe they feel some sort of connection to us. Plus our kids are freaking adorable and who doesn’t want to see them?

Another neighborhood theory is that they built the fence to protect their garden. They are avid gardeners and have created quite a masterpiece out there, but I don’t buy this argument. Much of the landscaping extends beyond the oddly placed Hate Fence.

I don’t care what the real reason is. I just want to be hated. I want this Hate Fence to turn back into a privacy fence! Tune in tomorrow to see what happened when a construction crew arrived a few months after this latest addition. It’s not what you would think.



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Gotta Keep on Hatin’

Six months after the first Hate Fence went up, this monstrosity happened to my backyard courtesy of the Hate Fence neighbors to our east.
The Hate Fence people put half a Hate Fence along our shared split rail fence. They didn’t say a word before they did it. When the fence construction people left it looking like this, I assumed they were just done for the day and would be back the next day to finish it off.

Nope. This is a forever situation (as far as I know). It has been at least a year and half since that half a Hate Fence went up and gave us this complete eyesore. The privacy fence might look ok from their yard, but in ours it looks ridiculous. If the fence stretched across our entire backyard, fine, the double fence might make sense, but it looks completely ridiculous half done! We can’t remove our split rail fence because of where the Hate Fence ends before the post and there is enough space between the Hate Fence and our split rail that the dogs could probably slip through.

If the ugliness of just split rail on white wasn’t enough, grass and weeds grow between our two fences. It’s impossible to mow or weedwack there unless we were to take off our wire, which is a complicated process we rather not do EVERY time we mow. Or ever, really. I mean, who does that? When the grass gets really long, my husband goes out there to hand weed it.

From what we can figure, this addition to the Hate Fence was to further block out the Pool House neighbors to our north. You could still see the Pool House people’s front yard from the Hate Fence people’s patio. The boys often play catch in the front yard and kids are always coming in and out of the pool gate, also visible from the patio. How dare these children play where the Hate Fence people can see them! How dare there be noise outside! Now they don’t have to look at that perfectly nice family of four.

As my Pool House neighbors say, the Hate Fence people only HALF hate us since they only blocked out half our yard. How did we get so “lucky”?

Shortly after this god-awful yard-changing landscaping went up and completely disrupted the way my backyard looks, I asked the Hate Fence people if they were finished with the fence for good or if they were fencing it little by little. We hardly ever talk to these people. Despite our attempts to be friendly, they almost always ignore us and everyone else in the neighborhood, for that matter. The wife, who is a South Korean immigrant just like my husband’s parents, told me that the fence was finished for good, but her English is not the best. I’m not entirely sure that she understood the question.

So here we stand. Half hated for all of time with an ugly ugly fence. Last year every time I was outside all I could do was glare at it. It was the only thing I could see when we were outside. I’d stop playing with the kids just to glare at it. This year, I’ve grown used to it and can ignore it, but I still constantly hope we are making enough noise and have enough Little Tikes crap that they will finish their fence. We acquired our Little Tikes village to entertain the kids, but every time we get something big and plastic a little part of me hopes it is the final straw and their hate will grow enough to block us out 100%.

Besides, a finished Hate Fence isn’t a Hate Fence at all. If you hate all your neighbors equally enough to put a Hate Fence around your entire yard, it becomes a privacy fence. In fact, THIS would be a privacy fence if they weren’t just blocking out one neighbor. But they are. Or they were.

The bizarre tale of hate continues tomorrow.



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The Hate Fence

What do you do when a family moves next door and starts swimming at appropriate times of the day and at relatively appropriate noise levels?

Well, if you’re my bizarre neighbor to the east, you build a hate fence, or what I’ve come to find out Wikipedia calls a “Spite Fence”: “A spite fence is an overly tall fence, structure in the nature of a fence, or a row of trees, bushes, or hedges, constructed or planted between adjacent lots by a property owner who is annoyed with or wishes to annoy a neighbor.”

One day, without any warning to any of us, our eastern neighbor erected a privacy fence that was only adjacent to our neighbor to the north (we live on a corner lot). The eastern neighbor’s backyard extended east beyond that of the northern neighbor’s, but the fence ended exactly where the northern neighbor’s yard ended and didn’t block out us or the neighbors to their east.

The fence made a very clear “We hate you and only you!” statement. It was abundantly clear that the Hate Fence neighbors, as I’ve come to call them, were trying to block out the northern neighbors. The northern neighbors had just moved in and were getting a lot of use out of the swimming pool that the previous owners had ignored. Maybe the pool house neighbors were making too much noise for the Hate Fence neighbors, but my yard is also adjacent and I barely notice anything unless I’m outside. Even then, my pool house neighbors keep the noise to a respectable level. It sounds like kids are playing outside, which is what you would expect to hear in a neighborhood like ours. Maybe the Hate Fence neighbors didn’t want to see people in bathing suits, but the pool house people had a slatted fence that camouflages them pretty well from my perspective.
I know, the fencing in our yard looks strange because the pool house neighbors have a different fence than ours and we just linked up to it to save money on fencing and hassle of mowing between two fences. Our neighborhood has land deed restrictions that say we must have split rail fences and nothing else. The original pool house owners got special permission to build their white fence because of their pool. Our deed specifically says that privacy fences or anything that blocks the view of the pond is not allowed.

Do you see a pond out there? No? Well, you used to be able to. It was only a retention pond so I wasn’t in love with it, but still. Thanks a heap, Hate Fencers!

If you think they were just trying to fence their yard piece by piece, they already spent big bucks putting in a split rail fence not a year beforehand. Why didn’t they do the privacy fence then? Why do half a side of privacy fence and leave the rest open?

None of it made any sense, but if you think it was weird at this point, just wait until tomorrow’s post. It gets weirder. And more hateful.



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