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Bibs = Worthless

Bibs are stupid. They don’t work and I don’t use them.

“But don’t they keep your kids’ clothes clean?” you ask.

The answer is no. They don’t. Ever. Whenever a baby starts eating solid purees at my house, food flies everywhere. It drips past the bib to the pants. It drips UNDER the bib to the neck of the outfit. The baby gets food on her hand and smears it all over the unprotected parts of her clothes, face and hair. Regardless of the bib, if a 7 month old is eating with clothes on you are probably about to put her in a new outfit.

We have an added mess bonus this time around. Violet is a hardcore thumbsucker. She’s my first (and last) thumbsucker. For the most part I love it because she self-soothes easily and puts herself to sleep in her crib without ANY sleep training effort on my part whatsoever, but when it comes to eating thumbsucking makes it that much more work. The kid wants to suck her thumb while she’s eating, which means if she’s wearing clothes she gets food all over her hands and sleeves. It’s hard to get food in her mouth because her thumb is always in there!

A bib would not protect Violet’s clothes from the thumbsucking, the lap dripping, the under chin dripping etc. I gave up on bibs when Lily was a baby. That’s how long I’ve been anti-bib. What does a bib do? Nothing. It just adds to your laundry.

At our house, when you are a baby eating purees (and I’m not interested in hearing more about baby-led weaning here, thanks), one of two things happens: Either you eat naked and then I wipe you off with a wipe or you eat in clothes I immediately take off of you.

I used to ONLY do the eating naked thing so I could completely avoid stains. Naked feeding is AWESOME for stain avoidance. Sometime between Lily and Rose’s baby food adventures, I started using OxyClean and we rarely have stains even after the most disastrous of messes. If I took before and after pictures around here, I could seriously star in an OxyClean commercial. That stuff rocks.

Between OxyClean and I being lovers and Violet being our for-sure final child unless something really improbable happens, I often let Violet eat in clothes AND without a bib. I really don’t care as much if her clothes get stained since there will never be another baby of mine who needs to wear them. The benefit to feeding a clothed baby is that there is less baby to wash when the feeding is over. The clothes protect the kid from the food and then you just wash the clothes.

Seriously, you’d be amazed at the food and pink bubblegum antibiotic stains OxyClean removes.

However, insider tip: nothing removes baby vitamin drops no matter how soon you wash something. NOTHING. Baby vitamin drops are evil bitches that should only be given while the baby is in the bathtub. HATE.

So, save your money:
*DON’T buy bibs (though I hear they are nice for major spit-up babies. I wouldn’t know.).
*DO buy OxyClean
*Embrace naked baby feedings.
*Give baby vitamin drops at bathtime.

To be fair, I did see a designer baby bib at a boutique recently that included sleeves. I was intrigued, but then I discovered that each bib cost $30. ha ha ha $30 bib. So no. No bibs. Ever.

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