Tag Archives: kids say

Tomorrow

My girls have been obsessed with the 1982 movie musical “Annie” lately. Both girls have been singing “Hard Knock Life” and “Tomorrow” non-stop. Me, I’m partial to “Little Girls”, especially now that I have THREE of them. There’s so much about Miss Hannigan that I respect more now that I’m an adult, even though she is a mean, drunk whore I hope I’ll never be like. Still, sometimes I can relate to having an abundance of girls driving me crazy.

I remember when I was a kid I wanted a locket like Annie more than anything in the world. I’m not sure what’s so appealing about Annie’s broken locket to little girls, but it’s a pretty consistent thing. We ALL want Annie lockets. Why? Do we want to be orphans with long-lost secretly-dead parents? Do we want to live in an orphanage? Why do we want to have a locket that symbolizes so much sadness? There’s a nice bit of hope in Annie’s locket, but it’s a false hope.

Whatever the case, I had an inkling my own little girls might want Annie lockets, so I’ve been on the hunt for some super cheap ones. I found some for $4 each at Walmart and, as I suspected, Lily and Rose were beyond ecstatic about them.
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Now that Rose has her Annie locket, she keeps asking me to sing “Tomorrow”. She claims that you can only sing “Tomorrow” when the locket is open because that is when the sun shines out of the locket and you can see a picture of Annie.

I think she’s referring to the opening credits in which headshots of each character are shown through the broken locket.

Side note: Did you know that Edward Herrmann, Richard Gilmore from “Gilmore Girls”, plays President Roosevelt in “Annie”? Every time the girls watch it, I stare at FDR and try to figure out how THAT Edward Herrmann is the SAME Edward Herrmann as Richard Gilmore. I can’t see it. But it’s true somehow! I can hear it a little bit when he obnoxiously orders Daddy Warbucks to sing “Tomorrow” with Annie, but looks-wise it’s baffling.

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Medium

According to Rose, she and Violet are the same size.

“Violet is the same size as me! We’re both medium!”

Violet is not quite 1 year old and weighs 17 pounds. Rose is 3 1/2 years old and weighs 35 pounds. She’s been consistently 90th percentile or higher for height her entire life. Violet wears size 9-12 months and Rose wears a girls’ size 5 or 5T (They seem the same to me, but maybe I’ve transitioned wrong twice now?).
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To say Rose and Violet are the same size is ludicrous. We’re not sure what she means by this. Does she really think she’s as small as Violet or is it something else?

We keep asking her if she is bigger than Violet and she’ll admit she’s taller or “Tall Medium” while Rose is “Small Medium”, but she still claims they are the same size. Even though Rose is almost the same size as Lily for real, she says she is not the same size as Lily. Lily is “Big” and “Tall”. Lily and Rose weigh the exact same amount and Lily is only a few inches taller than Rose. People think they are twins all the time.
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I don’t get it. Violet is clearly little to me. She is smaller than the other two girls were at this age. Every 9 month old we meet is bigger than Violet and Violet is almost 12 months old!

But no. She’s medium and clearly the same size as a 90th percentile 3 1/2 year old! Rose said it so it must be true!

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A Chocolate Story

One of the saddest things about Lily being allergic to cow’s milk is that most candy bars are off limits. You might not think of it, but almost all chocolate contains milk. Lily has never had the joy of biting into a Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup.

A couple of years ago, I found a type of organic chocolate bar that was dairy-free. I believe it was this one. Unfortunately for Lily, it was also extremely dark chocolate. I know it brings into question my status as an adult or at least as a woman, but I hate dark chocolate and I’m pretty sure most little kids do too. I’m a milk chocolate girl. Dark chocolate tastes too bitter to me. This particular brand of chocolate bar was the most bitter chocolate I’ve ever tasted. It was almost on par with the bittersweet chocolate used in baking. Whenever I tasted it, I wanted to spit it out.

Ghirardelli makes a dairy-free semi-sweet chocolate chip that tastes pretty decent, so I would offer the chips to Lily if Rose and I were eating Valentine or Halloween chocolates. But if Rose and I were eating candy bars, Lily wanted the chocolate that looked like what we were eating. It tasted so bitter that I can’t imagine any little kid would like it, but she kept eating it.

Then the other day, I noticed Ghirardelli also makes a dairy-free semi-sweet chocolate bar for baking. We were supposed to toast s’mores at a party later that week. When we got the bar home, we tasted it to make sure it wasn’t secretly bittersweet baking chocolate. It wasn’t! It tasted great!

And Lily had a revelation.

“This is really good! Mommy, I didn’t like that other chocolate, but I love this chocolate! That other chocolate tasted bad, but I ate it anyway.”

Why did she eat it if it tasted so bad?

“I don’t know. Because we were all eating chocolate…”

I wonder if she was pretending she liked the chocolate because the rest of us were drooling over our own chocolate?

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Mommy Movie

Rose: She was wearing a pink bra.

Me: Who was wearing a pink bra?

Rose: The girl. She was wearing a pink bra.

Me: Where did you see a girl wearing a pink bra?

Rose: In the Mommy Movie. The girl was wearing a pink bra! She lost her shirt!

Uh oh. What was I watching in front of her? What came on the tv when I wasn’t looking? I was horrified that she may have seen something a little sexier than I’d want for her at this age. I would think I would remember my 3 year old watching something “racy” enough to have a shirtless girl in it.

Me: What Mommy Movie was this?

Rose: The one with the exercise. The one with the weights and the jumping.

Phew! I didn’t accidentally expose my child to something R-Rated. She was talking about “Jillian Michaels: 30 Day Shred”, which I’ve been working out to lately. The girls love to jump around with me while I’m doing the exercises. They love it so much that we had to buy a second set of 1 pound weights so they both could participate fully.

Since it’s a workout video, the girls are wearing sports bras and yoga pants. I hadn’t even thought of it, but yes. Rose is right. The girl did lose her shirt in the process of gaining abs of steel. I’d probably “lose my shirt” too if I looked like that.

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Movies Unveiled

Today Lily had a revelation when I showed her a picture of Ray Bolger as the scarecrow from “The Wizard of Oz” and then showed her a picture of Ray Bolger au naturale and explained that he was the same person.

When you are 5 years old, it is apparently a BIG SHOCK to learn that the people you see on tv and in movies are PRETENDING to be other people.

“But why is he stuffed with straw when he’s the scarecrow if he’s just a real man?”

Costumes and make-up were explained.

Lily was blown away.

I showed her Julie Andrews as Maria and Mary Poppins and then explained that Julie ALSO did a voice for “Shrek 2″. I thought Lily already knew about actors because the other day when watching the never-ending Julie Andrews monologue intro to our “Sound of Music” DVD menu, she yelled “Shut up, Julie Andrews!” at a 70 year old Julie. Apparently she was just repeating what she’d heard from me the last time we were trying to get to the disc menu. Oops. Seriously though, Julie Andrews, shut up and let us watch the movie!

After I explained to Lily that any actor/actress from any show/movie might show up in another movie because they are pretending and PAID to pretend, my daughter announced that she was going to tell her preschool teacher about it.

“Miss Sara needs to know that Julie Andrews was Maria AND Mary Poppins! And the scarecrow is wearing a COSTUME! He doesn’t really look like that! Miss Sara needs to know! People in movies and on tv are pretending!”

I’m sure Miss Sara will be shocked.

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Kids Say: Doctor Doctor

Rose: Your name is Jen! People call you Jen!

Me: That’s right! Do you know what people call Daddy? His students call him Doctor C!

Rose (laughs like I’m ridiculous): No! It’s Doctor Lily! Lily is going to be a doctor when she grows up! I’m going to be Cinderella!

Me: Well, maybe Lily will be a doctor, but Daddy is already called “doctor”. It’s part of his name because he went to school for a very long time and he knows a lot about chemistry.

Rose (laughs like I’m ridiculous: No! Daddy is NOT a doctor! Lily is going to be a doctor! And then she’ll be Doctor Lily!

Me: Maybe. Did you know that your two grandpas and your Aunt Emi also have the word “doctor” as part of their names?

Rose (laughs like I’m ridiculous): No! Lily is a doctor when she grows up! I’m going to be Cinderella.

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The Pennies

Lily has never really understood the concept of naming her stuffed animals and dolls. She always names her toys what they are. For example, a stuffed pink bear would be named “Pink Bear”. A doll with a yellow dress would be named “Yellow Dress Doll”. Aside from the one time where she inexplicably named her black Little People doll Calusta, she has never been creative when it came to names.

Well, now we have crazy Rose in the house and the trend of naming things after what they are is slowly coming to an end. It started with this purple “cat” purse. Now that I’m looking more closely at this purse, I realize it is probably a bear. Rose loves cats though and used to call it “Purple Kitty Purse”, so it must be a cat purse.

This “cat’s” name is Penny.

I’ve been trying to figure out where she came up with it. We have a neighbor named Penny. Her father and I are also fans of “Big Bang Theory”, which features a character named Penny. A purse can also hold pennies… but somehow I doubt any of these things influenced the naming of the cat/bear purse. I thought this was funny and intriguing enough, but then today I found out something even more perplexing and hilarious.

This cat’s name is Princess Penelope.

Apparently this cat earned the title “princess” because she is wearing a tiara. Lily tells me Rose named her after a character named Princess Penelope in the book “Ponyella” (BEST BOOK EVER if you have a Cinderella nut whose grandmother owns horses). Princess Penelope is a human girl in the book. She is not a cat.

I asked and Rose did not know that Penny is a nickname for Penelope, yet here we are with two stuffed “cats” with variations on the same name.

I wonder if Penny/Penelope is just a name she really loves or if there is something more to this? Is my future grandchild’s name Penelope?

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Quotes of the Weekend

Lily: Martin Luther King Junior’s daddy was also named Martin Luther King Junior!

Lily: Martin Luther King Junior was planted in Georgia.

We asked her what she meant by “planted”. Apparently she meant buried. We like the idea of planting a person better. It implies that something wonderful can grow from that spot.

Rose, on the phone with me from my parents’ house: Poppy isn’t angry! Poppy is nice!

She said it like it was a huge revelation that my dad is nice. He has never been angry at her before and my parents assure me that they hadn’t had a fight in front of her so we have no idea where this came from!

Lily: I really missed Violet while we were gone!

Rose: And I really missed my Cinderella dolls.

Rose: Do, a deer, a female deer. Re, a drop of golden sun. Re, a name I call myself!

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The Elmo Inside

At my in-laws’ house, the girls discovered a Ticke-Me Elmo voice box that had been dissected from its body. The box still had batteries and continued to talk like Elmo.

The adults looked everywhere, but there was no Elmo carcass to be found. Someone took Elmo’s soul and got rid of his body. It was kind of creepy. More creepy: The girls didn’t understand that the box came from INSIDE the Elmo. They thought a little Elmo was trapped inside the box.

“How do we get the Elmo out?” they asked.

We kept explaining that the box was part of a big Elmo, who wasn’t there anymore.

“No there’s a tiny little Elmo inside the box. We have to get him out! Can you get a screwdriver?”

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More False Confessions

While I was prepping a raw turkey, I looked down and realized I was still wearing my wedding set. The raw turkey was sitting on the counter and I was about to remove the innards. I took off my rings and I put them on the counter. I was careful to make sure they were a safe distance from the sink and went on with turkey prep.

Hours later, I came back to clean up and discovered my engagement ring on the counter. “Oh yeah! I took my rings off!” I thought. I went to put them back on when I realized my wedding band was missing. We searched everywhere, but nothing has turned up. The ring was on a portion of the counter we seldom use aside from making coffee. We suspect children may be involved because Rose is O-B-S-E-S-S-E-D with talking about our wedding.

Almost every morning, Rose comes downstairs saying “Mommy! Daddy married you! You had a wedding! You wear a wedding ring!”

So you can see why she might be our prime suspect in the disappearance of my wedding ring.

Unfortunately, Rose is still making false confessions, so we have no idea whether or not she touched my ring or where it could be. No matter what you accuse Rose of, she will say she did it even if she had nothing to do with it.

Here is how a line of questioning goes with this kid when I am suspicious she might have done something wrong.

Me: Rose, did you take my wedding ring?

Rose: Yes.

Me: Where did you put it?

Rose: I don’t know.

Me: Rose, did you take my wedding ring?

Rose: No! Where is your wedding ring, Mommy? You lost it? You are sad?

Me: Rose, do you know where my wedding ring is?

Rose: Yes! It’s with my princesses!

It’s not.

So, Rose MIGHT have taken my wedding ring. Or it’s just lost. She might know exactly where it is. Or she may have nothing to do with any of it. I think if she DID take it, she doesn’t know where it is anymore because she’s well aware of how upset I am about my missing wedding ring. I think she’d tell me if she really knew where it was.

Or maybe not.

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