Tag Archives: kids say

Mommy Movie

Rose: She was wearing a pink bra.

Me: Who was wearing a pink bra?

Rose: The girl. She was wearing a pink bra.

Me: Where did you see a girl wearing a pink bra?

Rose: In the Mommy Movie. The girl was wearing a pink bra! She lost her shirt!

Uh oh. What was I watching in front of her? What came on the tv when I wasn’t looking? I was horrified that she may have seen something a little sexier than I’d want for her at this age. I would think I would remember my 3 year old watching something “racy” enough to have a shirtless girl in it.

Me: What Mommy Movie was this?

Rose: The one with the exercise. The one with the weights and the jumping.

Phew! I didn’t accidentally expose my child to something R-Rated. She was talking about “Jillian Michaels: 30 Day Shred”, which I’ve been working out to lately. The girls love to jump around with me while I’m doing the exercises. They love it so much that we had to buy a second set of 1 pound weights so they both could participate fully.

Since it’s a workout video, the girls are wearing sports bras and yoga pants. I hadn’t even thought of it, but yes. Rose is right. The girl did lose her shirt in the process of gaining abs of steel. I’d probably “lose my shirt” too if I looked like that.


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Movies Unveiled

Today Lily had a revelation when I showed her a picture of Ray Bolger as the scarecrow from “The Wizard of Oz” and then showed her a picture of Ray Bolger au naturale and explained that he was the same person.

When you are 5 years old, it is apparently a BIG SHOCK to learn that the people you see on tv and in movies are PRETENDING to be other people.

“But why is he stuffed with straw when he’s the scarecrow if he’s just a real man?”

Costumes and make-up were explained.

Lily was blown away.

I showed her Julie Andrews as Maria and Mary Poppins and then explained that Julie ALSO did a voice for “Shrek 2″. I thought Lily already knew about actors because the other day when watching the never-ending Julie Andrews monologue intro to our “Sound of Music” DVD menu, she yelled “Shut up, Julie Andrews!” at a 70 year old Julie. Apparently she was just repeating what she’d heard from me the last time we were trying to get to the disc menu. Oops. Seriously though, Julie Andrews, shut up and let us watch the movie!

After I explained to Lily that any actor/actress from any show/movie might show up in another movie because they are pretending and PAID to pretend, my daughter announced that she was going to tell her preschool teacher about it.

“Miss Sara needs to know that Julie Andrews was Maria AND Mary Poppins! And the scarecrow is wearing a COSTUME! He doesn’t really look like that! Miss Sara needs to know! People in movies and on tv are pretending!”

I’m sure Miss Sara will be shocked.


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Kids Say: Doctor Doctor

Rose: Your name is Jen! People call you Jen!

Me: That’s right! Do you know what people call Daddy? His students call him Doctor C!

Rose (laughs like I’m ridiculous): No! It’s Doctor Lily! Lily is going to be a doctor when she grows up! I’m going to be Cinderella!

Me: Well, maybe Lily will be a doctor, but Daddy is already called “doctor”. It’s part of his name because he went to school for a very long time and he knows a lot about chemistry.

Rose (laughs like I’m ridiculous: No! Daddy is NOT a doctor! Lily is going to be a doctor! And then she’ll be Doctor Lily!

Me: Maybe. Did you know that your two grandpas and your Aunt Emi also have the word “doctor” as part of their names?

Rose (laughs like I’m ridiculous): No! Lily is a doctor when she grows up! I’m going to be Cinderella.


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The Pennies

Lily has never really understood the concept of naming her stuffed animals and dolls. She always names her toys what they are. For example, a stuffed pink bear would be named “Pink Bear”. A doll with a yellow dress would be named “Yellow Dress Doll”. Aside from the one time where she inexplicably named her black Little People doll Calusta, she has never been creative when it came to names.

Well, now we have crazy Rose in the house and the trend of naming things after what they are is slowly coming to an end. It started with this purple “cat” purse. Now that I’m looking more closely at this purse, I realize it is probably a bear. Rose loves cats though and used to call it “Purple Kitty Purse”, so it must be a cat purse.

This “cat’s” name is Penny.

I’ve been trying to figure out where she came up with it. We have a neighbor named Penny. Her father and I are also fans of “Big Bang Theory”, which features a character named Penny. A purse can also hold pennies… but somehow I doubt any of these things influenced the naming of the cat/bear purse. I thought this was funny and intriguing enough, but then today I found out something even more perplexing and hilarious.

This cat’s name is Princess Penelope.

Apparently this cat earned the title “princess” because she is wearing a tiara. Lily tells me Rose named her after a character named Princess Penelope in the book “Ponyella” (BEST BOOK EVER if you have a Cinderella nut whose grandmother owns horses). Princess Penelope is a human girl in the book. She is not a cat.

I asked and Rose did not know that Penny is a nickname for Penelope, yet here we are with two stuffed “cats” with variations on the same name.

I wonder if Penny/Penelope is just a name she really loves or if there is something more to this? Is my future grandchild’s name Penelope?


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Quotes of the Weekend

Lily: Martin Luther King Junior’s daddy was also named Martin Luther King Junior!

Lily: Martin Luther King Junior was planted in Georgia.

We asked her what she meant by “planted”. Apparently she meant buried. We like the idea of planting a person better. It implies that something wonderful can grow from that spot.

Rose, on the phone with me from my parents’ house: Poppy isn’t angry! Poppy is nice!

She said it like it was a huge revelation that my dad is nice. He has never been angry at her before and my parents assure me that they hadn’t had a fight in front of her so we have no idea where this came from!

Lily: I really missed Violet while we were gone!

Rose: And I really missed my Cinderella dolls.

Rose: Do, a deer, a female deer. Re, a drop of golden sun. Re, a name I call myself!


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The Elmo Inside

At my in-laws’ house, the girls discovered a Ticke-Me Elmo voice box that had been dissected from its body. The box still had batteries and continued to talk like Elmo.

The adults looked everywhere, but there was no Elmo carcass to be found. Someone took Elmo’s soul and got rid of his body. It was kind of creepy. More creepy: The girls didn’t understand that the box came from INSIDE the Elmo. They thought a little Elmo was trapped inside the box.

“How do we get the Elmo out?” they asked.

We kept explaining that the box was part of a big Elmo, who wasn’t there anymore.

“No there’s a tiny little Elmo inside the box. We have to get him out! Can you get a screwdriver?”


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More False Confessions

While I was prepping a raw turkey, I looked down and realized I was still wearing my wedding set. The raw turkey was sitting on the counter and I was about to remove the innards. I took off my rings and I put them on the counter. I was careful to make sure they were a safe distance from the sink and went on with turkey prep.

Hours later, I came back to clean up and discovered my engagement ring on the counter. “Oh yeah! I took my rings off!” I thought. I went to put them back on when I realized my wedding band was missing. We searched everywhere, but nothing has turned up. The ring was on a portion of the counter we seldom use aside from making coffee. We suspect children may be involved because Rose is O-B-S-E-S-S-E-D with talking about our wedding.

Almost every morning, Rose comes downstairs saying “Mommy! Daddy married you! You had a wedding! You wear a wedding ring!”

So you can see why she might be our prime suspect in the disappearance of my wedding ring.

Unfortunately, Rose is still making false confessions, so we have no idea whether or not she touched my ring or where it could be. No matter what you accuse Rose of, she will say she did it even if she had nothing to do with it.

Here is how a line of questioning goes with this kid when I am suspicious she might have done something wrong.

Me: Rose, did you take my wedding ring?

Rose: Yes.

Me: Where did you put it?

Rose: I don’t know.

Me: Rose, did you take my wedding ring?

Rose: No! Where is your wedding ring, Mommy? You lost it? You are sad?

Me: Rose, do you know where my wedding ring is?

Rose: Yes! It’s with my princesses!

It’s not.

So, Rose MIGHT have taken my wedding ring. Or it’s just lost. She might know exactly where it is. Or she may have nothing to do with any of it. I think if she DID take it, she doesn’t know where it is anymore because she’s well aware of how upset I am about my missing wedding ring. I think she’d tell me if she really knew where it was.

Or maybe not.


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Lily: I love Violet more than anyone. I even love Violet more than I love Rose!

Me: What about me and Daddy?

Lily: I love Violet more than I love you and Daddy! I especially love her more than I love Rose.

Me: You shouldn’t say that in front of Rose. It would hurt her feelings. You should try to love both your sisters the same just like I love you, Violet and Rose all the same.


Rose: I love Baby Cinderella doll. She’s my favorite baby in the whole wide world. I love her more than I love Violet.


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Rose: Violet hates red! Red is bad.

Me: What do you mean? I don’t think Violet knows much about colors.

Rose: Violet always cries when there’s red! She doesn’t like red. I love blue. Blue is like Cinderella.

Me: What do you mean Violet cries when it’s red?

Rose: If the light is red, Violet cries and cries. She hates red! It makes her angry!

Me: You mean if we stop at a stoplight when it’s red, Violet cries?

Rose: Yes. Red is her angry color. She loves green because it means go. I love blue because it means Cinderella. Lily loves rainbow.

Me: I guess so.

Rose: Red means angry. It also means stop. It makes babies cry.

Apparently red isn’t such a good color. Too bad half of our first floor is red (and I love it!). Maybe this is why Violet was so angry her first four months? Too much red?


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Brilliant Gift Ideas

Me: You guys were invited to Matt’s birthday party! You’re going to the birthday party on Sunday.

Kids: YAY! We like Matt!

Me: What would you like to get him?

Rose: A present!

Me: What type of present?

Lily: A toy!

Me: What type of toy?

Lily: I don’t know!

They’re so helpful sometimes. I get similar responses to “What do you want for Hanukkah?” Lily wants Legos, but when I ask “What else?” she just says “Toys!”


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