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Toy WTF: “Actual Movie Size”

For about 6 months, my husband and I had a secret from Lily. She thought that her Toy Story Rex and Bullseye flashlights were just like the characters in the movie, but we knew they weren’t to scale. In fact, Rex and Bullseye, two of the tallest characters in the movie, only came up to Woody’s waist.

What are you talking about? They are totally the same size.

Unfortunately, our secret came out recently when Lily’s brain developed beyond our clever ploy to manipulate her with $7 knock-offs of the $35+ figurines that went with her full-size Buzz, Woody and Jessie. She started to notice scale and suddenly every single time we played with her Toy Story toys she’d say “We need a big Rex and a big Bullseye. This Rex and Bullseye are too small. We need new ones.”

So, this weekend for a plethora of reasons that were entirely our fault involving tons of fun-filled promises and an unexpected cancelled trip, we “had” to take Lily to Toys R Us to get her her “big” Rex and Bullseye. Now we have EVERYTHING (except one alien) and it’s all to scale (except one of our two aliens).

When we got it home, we cracked up when we saw this on the box:

“Deluxe Film Version / Actual Movie Size”

WTF does “Actual Movie Size” even mean? How the hell can an animated character be “actual movie size”? He’s a computer animated character. How do we know what size he is? When he was on the big screen, he was probably the same size as me. Is THAT actual movie size? When he’s on our tv, he’s probably about 10 inches tall depending on the angle, but we have a 30 inch television. He’d be bigger if we had a bigger tv. Seriously, how do you define “actual movie size” for an animated character? Do they mean to scale compared to people in the movie? What?

We just found this statement baffling and couldn’t stop laughing about it. Am I “actual movie size”? How big would I be if I were computer-animated?

And are our Woody and Jessie dolls “actual movie size”? They are cheaper versions than the Bullseye we ended up getting– he is the collector’s edition, whatever that means, and I just found out he lists for two to three times what we paid for him. Luckily, everyone seems to be to scale now and Woody and Jessie fit on Bullseye perfectly.

All of these items are "actual movie size".

“Actual movie size”! I’ll giggle about that every time we play with Bullseye from now on.

Share your Toy WTF moments on this blog by emailing them to creativekidsplay@gmail.com.

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Kids Play: Fake Floor Nap

I have no idea what this is all about, but little Rose keeps putting Woody and Jessie on the ground, then lying down next to them and smiling and talking to them. When Lily sees her do this, she lies across from her and joins in the fun. I’m not sure what either one of them are thinking, but they sure are cute!

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Kids Play: Buzz’s Snack

During snack time, Shantel’s son decided to use Buzz’s helmet as a snack bowl. It reminds me of the scene in “Toy Story 3″ where you get Buzz’s view of a kid chewing on his helmet!

I don't think Buzz condones this.

I guess her son thought Buzz was hungry? It was really thoughtful of him to share.

The first picture was taken on an iphone, so Shantel also sent in a picture from her regular camera for a clearer view of what was going on.

Share your funny toy pictures and stories on this blog by emailing them to creativekidsplay@gmail.com.

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Kids Play: I have 3!

Lynn’s 2-year-old son had been lamenting the fact that he didn’t have three Toy Story aliens. Like most kids, one or two aliens are not enough when three of them appear in the movie. So he was overjoyed when he realized his water bottle was also a Toy Story alien.

Pizza Planet Aliens

“I do got three aliens!” he said.

I love how the aliens are all completely different sizes and shapes, but they still pass as “the same” to a kid. It’s also pretty great that a water bottle passes as a toy– although I don’t know how you couldn’t see that bottle as a toy. It’s more toy than bottle.

When Lynn later told him he couldn’t watch Toy Story that night, he threw his arms up in the air and exclaimed “Do you hate me?!”

Share your funny kid stories on this blog by sending them to creativekidsplay@gmail.com.

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“I already have one”

Sometimes things don’t turn out the way you plan, especially when a preschooler is involved. What a preschooler wants and what a preschooler means are clearly two different things!

For weeks, Lily has been asking me for “piggy coins” for her Hamm the pig. Her Hamm is a freebie we sent away for with four cereal box codes. He’s not exactly high quality. His cork comes out if you look at him wrong. He wasn’t piggy bank material when you consider the 1 year old we have wandering around here.

I wanted to use coins as rewards for chores, so I told her we could go get a new, functioning piggy bank if she picked up her toys for five days and after that she would get “piggy coins” every time she did something good. She held up her end of the deal, so we made a special trip to the store just to get her piggy bank.

Lily was very enthusiastic about our trip and the whole piggy bank gaining/buying process and the prospect of piggy coins until we walk up to the pigs and I point out the prettiest one. And she says “I don’t want one. I already have one.”

Then she got very upset when I informed her again that her flimsy Hamm could not be her piggy bank. She couldn’t play with him if he had coins in him. I told her we could buy a second Hamm to hold piggy coins and that upset her even more.

I don’t know how she thought “buying a new piggy bank” meant “putting coins in your existing piggy bank”, but I guess my grown-up to preschooler language is still in development.

My reward was going down the tubes after days of build-up and I didn’t know what to do! She still wanted coins. She loves coins, and I wanted to use them as a reward so badly that I told her we were buying a particularly cute piggy bank in a tiara and tutu and she could keep her coins in there, but still play with Hamm.

“I don’t want Mrs. Pig! I want piggy coins!” is the retort I got.

Mrs. Pig, eh? I’m impressed she knew to call her that!

I bought Mrs. Pig anyway. She and Hamm sit on top of the piano together until Hamm needs to go play with his friends.

Mrs. Pig didn’t get the warmest reception at home. I thought I’d have to return her. Lily shoved the first piggy coins into Hamm and I was going to let him be the bank if she kept him on the piano, but she promptly took his cork out and endangered the baby.

It took some heavy prompting and praise of Mrs. Pig , but her reward, which somehow turned into a torture device and made me feel like a bad mom, is now being used for piggy coins. Every time she does something good, the piggy coin goes in Mrs. Pig.

I just wish the acquisition of Mrs. Pig had been as glorious as it promised to be!

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One is Never Enough

With the recent “Toy Story 3″ binge that’s been going on at our house (and, from what I gather, most houses with small children in them), my 3-year-old became very aware of something that was missing from her nearly complete Toy Story collection– The Pizza Planet aliens.

While we were at Babies R Us, my 1-year-old squealed with joy when we went down the doll aisle. She grabbed a doll that gives kisses, which combines her two great loves– dolls and giving kisses. It was such a perfect doll for her and only $10, so I went ahead and spoiled her even though I had no plans to buy toys today. We were there for diapers.

The trouble with having both kids with you at a toy store is you can’t spoil one without spoiling the other. I mean, you could, but when they are as little as my kids are, it really wouldn’t seem fair.

So we hunted down a Pizza Planet alien. I put the alien in the cart and my daughter immediately protested. “We need three of them!”

Indeed, there ARE three Pizza Planet aliens in the movie, but I thought considering our Bullseye and Rex only come up to Woody’s knees (not to scale AT ALL), we’d be ok without exactly the right amount of anything. I guess not. Luckily there was only one Pizza Planet alien in the store, so I used it as an excuse for why we only needed one. She was down with that, but said we need to go back for the other two later.

When we got home, my husband immediately asked me why I only bought one alien. “We need three! One is no good!” Nevermind that we’d be out 18 more dollars had I bought two more! Nevermind that we just had Hanukkah and Christmas and don’t need more toys. We must have the exact movie character set up at our house!

Like father, like daughter.

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Kids Play: “Just like the end of ‘Toy Story 3′!”

My daughter keeps piling all of her “Toy Story 3″ on top of her Dad and saying “It’s just like the end of ‘Toy Story 3′!” It is, isn’t it?

Send your kid’s funny toy stories to creativekidsplay@gmail.com for publication on this blog.

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TV Tuesdays: Toy Story Preference

Warning: Contains “Toy Story 3″ Spoilers.

Of all the children’s movies I’ve ever seen, “Toy Story 3″ has the most upsetting moment. I was surprised when my 3-year-old watched it again and again with very little concern for the toys as they scrambled hopelessly through the tumbling debris whirling toward a pit of fire and their almost certain deaths.

Finally, the other day she asked me “What’s that orange?” She meant the fire. So she didn’t understand it! Ah, now I get the lack of concern for Woody’s safety. I explained what it was and that fire could hurt her and her Toy Story friends. Now she yells “That’s fire!” when she sees that scene, but still is not upset that the toys are in peril. Of course, at this point, she knows they will be ok, but that doesn’t seem to stop her from getting upset during scary moments in other shows and movies she’s seen repeatedly.

Since we’ve watched “Toy Story 3″ per her request nearly every day for the last four to five weeks, I’ve been urging her to choose another movie or tv show. Whenever I turn on something else, she gets upset it is not “Toy Story 3″. She even rejects our other Toy Story movies. At first, she said it was because she wanted to see Jessie and Mommy Potato Head. I’ve pointed out that both Jessie and Mommy Potato Head were in “Toy Story 2″, but she still rejected it.

While I agree that “Toy Story 3″ is the best of the Toy Story trilogy, I couldn’t figure out why she didn’t also want to watch “Toy Story 2″. Finally the other day she gave me her very legitimate reason.

“I don’t like ‘Toy Stoy 2′. It’s too Woody’s arm broken.”

She doesn’t like it because Woody’s arm is ripped at various points throughout the movie. This is apparently VERY upsetting. Much more upsetting than Woody swirling through garbage toward his almost certain death.

You heard it here first, guys. “Toy Story 2″ is way more upsetting than “Toy Story 3″ because Woody’s arm hangs precariously from his body for parts of the movie… and then is repaired twice. Then Woody gets to live with Andy “forever” (or until the end of “Toy Story 3″).

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Toy Industry Rant: What were they thinking?

Recently we were at the mall when my husband saw this monstrosity (which is also sort of a “Toy Story 3″ Spoiler if you haven’t seen it yet):

It’s called Toy Story Trash Compactor Escape. It’s the Lego version of the trash compactor and incinerator scene from the end of “Toy Story 3″. You know, the scene where the toys face their own mortality, try to escape from death, but ultimately decide to face their deaths with dignity? (I really really thought they might die for real).

Here’s another shot of it. If you can’t tell from the pictures, it includes the pit of fire the toys tumbled toward helplessly after Lotso tricked them into their almost certain death.

Who decided that the most emotional and disturbing scene I’ve ever seen in a children’s movie should be a toy? It’s a scene about death and here is a toy where kids get to play that their toys are about to be burned to bits. How is this a healthy thing to play?

Anyway, that was the biggest WTF toy I’ve ever seen. Actually, I give credit to my husband who pulled me over and said “You have to see this. This belongs on your blog!”

It does indeed.

What’s further bizarre about this toy is that all the reviews of it on multiple sites are positive! Not one person questioned the wrongness of having their kids rebuild and reenact the upsetting near-death scene in “Toy Story 3″. Maybe my kids are just too young for me to understand why this is a good toy for older kids but I seriously don’t get it. There’s nothing fun or funny in reenacting the scene in which the toys stop struggling and quietly take each other’s hands to face what seems to be the end.

What’s even more amazing is that this toy cost $60 at the Borders where we saw it. People are paying upwards of $60 to help their children reenact the near-death scene.

I just can’t wrap my mind around that.

I wonder what other bizarre toy scenarios Lego has available. A big Google search is in my near future.

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Kids Play: Santa

Even though we are Jewish, Santa comes to our house. Lily has a lot of thoughts about Santa, though most of them came from school already. Santa brought her sister a Santa Mr. Potato Head and Lily has a lot of thoughts about this. According to her, Santa wears a red hat with a white ball on top and shaving cream all over his face.

Also, “Santa Mr. Potato Head was NOT in ‘Toy Story 3′. He’s new. He’s NOT a Toy Story friend.” Yet at least five other potato head figures are allegedly Toy Story friends. Santa is excluded for some reason. Who knows.

Share your funny toy stories on this blog by emailing them to creativekidsplay@gmail.com.

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