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Strength

Lily: Look at this picture!

*Shows me a picture of Ramona holding her baby sister.*

Lily: She’s holding her baby sister!

Me: Yes, just like you hold Violet sometimes.

Lily: No, Mommy, look. She’s holding her up in the air! She’s not sitting, she’s standing! And Ramona is 4 years old! I’m 5 years old!

Me: Actually, Ramona is 9 years old in this book. She was 4 years old in “Beezus and Ramona”, but she’s 9 years old here. Remember how she’s 8 in “Ramona Quimby, Age 8″? She’s older in every book.

Lily: Oh. So maybe if I were 9 I could carry Violet?

I guess Lily really wants to hold Violet up in the air and carry her somewhere. Unfortunately, at 34 pounds Lily just doesn’t have enough strength for me to trust her to carry around her 17+ pound baby sister. Maybe if she were a bigger, sturdier 5 year old I would feel a little differently.

I WISH she could safely lift and carry Violet. It would certainly make my life easier sometimes.

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Things My 3 Month Old Likes More Than Me

I spend 90% of Violet’s waking hours holding her. If I should dare to put her down for more than 5 minutes, she screams bloody murder. Such transgressions are unacceptable. Daddy holding her? Perhaps 25% better than no one holding her, but still pretty unacceptable.

Considering she wants ME and only me most of the time, you’d think that I’d be the one to make her smile and laugh the most.

Nope. Why should I get rewarded for all that holding? My reward is shoulder and neck pain (plus a healthy baby and less crying and all that jazz). Here are the things that earn Violet’s smiles and laughs more than anything I do.

*Her carseat toys. Sure, she’ll cry like it’s the end of the world for most of every car trip, but when she’s first put in her carseat? Those dangling toys win her true devotion. Good job being a hanging lion, lion! Good job being a hungry caterpillar, caterpillar! Considering this is the only toy I’ve actually purchased for her myself, I suppose I should take this as a compliment? But still. The lion and caterpillar get more love than I do.

*Her swing mobile. What could be more exciting than butterflies, birds and a mirror? Nothing, that’s what. But only for five minutes. Longer than five minutes means I haven’t held her for five minutes and that’s against the laws of nature! BAD MOMMY!

*Any random grandmas. Random grandmas are HILARIOUS. Should we encounter one, Violet will laugh and laugh and laugh at everything one says. I can say the exact same things they say to her in the exact same tones and she’ll just look at me like I’m an idiot. Actual grandmas that are related to her aren’t as funny as stranger grandmas either.

*Lily. I am not bitter about this one. It’s nice that she thinks her big sister is more smile-worthy than I am.

*My boobs. Sure, my boobs are part of me, but I don’t know that she cares for me beyond the food production thing.

*Her stroller. It moves, so it makes her smile. Until it’s been 15 minutes (slightly longer than usual, an ode to how awesome the stroller is). Then she screams again.

*The Ergo. Babywearing always keeps her slightly happy presumably because I’m holding her or maybe because she just wants to make my shoulders hurt. The Ergo does its best to keep me comfortable, but it’s not a magic show. I’m still lugging a 15 pound baby around in it for at least an hour at a time and that still takes its toll on me. It’s kind of a draw as to whether wearing the baby or carrying the baby without a baby wrap hurts more.

*Being around my friends. If we are out with friends, she acts like an absolute angel for much of it. She smiles for 80% of our playdates with friends at every friend she sees. This is to make people think I’m a liar that she cries a lot. She just wants everyone to think she’s the cutest baby in the world and I don’t know how good I have it. Touche, baby. You win at being right. But seriously, let me put you down for more than 5 minutes. Sometimes I get hungry or need to pay attention to your sisters or type with two hands, but who cares about my needs? HOLD THE NON-SMILING BABY!

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Baby’s Law

I have a ton of posts I want to write. A ton of drafts just sitting there. I also have a stack of birthday invitations that need to be written up to put in neighborhood mailboxes tomorrow. I also have a filthy kitchen I need to clean. I was planning on doing all those things tonight when Violet went to bed.

Babies KNOW when you plan to be productive. They will not allow it. It is against their Baby Law. Violet usually goes to bed at 8 pm. Tonight she went to bed at 11. None of things I wanted to do will get done. On nights when I have nothing to accomplish and sit around goofing around and wasting time on facebook, the baby is sure to go right to sleep at 8 and sleep for 12 hours. On nights where I want to get stuff done, she is up, crying and needy. Daddy won’t do. She wants Mommy. And I can’t do anything.

The same Baby Law applies to naptime. If I screw around on the internet during her nap, she will sleep FOREVER. If I try to write, clean, do laundry or even nap (napping is more productive than facebook), the kid wakes up after 2 minutes. She senses the exact second I start any of those things. That is the second she wakes up crying.

This is my third baby to do this. It is clearly a Baby Law and not just a Violet Law. No baby wants its mother to be productive. All productivity must involve taking care of the baby.

So, I guess the lesson to be learned here is never even try to be productive because Baby’s Law will prevent you from actually accomplishing a thing. At least when you don’t try you have nothing to be disappointed about. Or something.

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Time Warp

Me: You will be 5 years old in just 2 months. That’s not very long.

Lily: How long is 2 months?

Me: Well, Violet is one month old. She hasn’t been here very long. Your birthday is in twice as long as Violet has been here– so pretty soon, really.

Lily: But Violet has been here a LONG time.

Violet has clearly been living with us for a VERY long time.


Oh to be 4 and a half and to think that two months is a long time from now! Actually, I guess I can relate. I just discovered one of my favorite stores is coming to our town and it is opening in 2 months and that seems like FOREVER from now because I want to shop there now now NOW. I’m sure Lily feels the same way about her birthday.

Conversely, I can’t believe Lily is almost 5 years old. I feel like she’s still brand new herself.

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I’m not a baby!

In the weeks leading up to Violet’s birth, we repeatedly told Rose she was no longer a baby. Indeed, she is 2.5, but looks like she could be 3.5 and is almost as big as her sister. She weighs at least 30 pounds, talks in complete sentences and is capable of doing chores under direction from us. Rose is no baby. However, whenever we told her she wasn’t a baby anymore, Rose would correct us and tell she WAS a baby and not a big girl.

I think if you are old enough to argue you ARE a baby, you probably AREN'T one anymore.

When my mother brought Rose to the hospital to meet Violet, Rose’s eyes were really opened. After Rose had spent several minutes with Violet, she turned to me and said, on her own, “I’m not a baby. THAT’S a baby. I’m a big girl!”

Indeed.

That night, Rose went home and peed on the potty for the very first time. Rose has also been much better about doing chores for me since her realization that she is NOT a baby anymore.

I wish I could say she is now potty trained, but the pee episode seems to be a one time thing. I think she’s very ready and we could finish her off RIGHT NOW if we wanted to, but considering I’m nursing a 1 1/2 week old and adjusting to having three children, potty training Rose is NOT a project I want to take on at the moment. Be sure: I want her potty trained by the end of August so we can send her to preschool this fall, but there’s no way in hell I’m starting that project until at least the beginning of July.

Man, I hope she can make the deadline. She has to be easier than Lily was to potty train, right?

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Violet is here!


Violet is 1 week old today! I’ve had trouble getting to the keyboard to write a proper post. While I’ve been able to be online a lot, usually I’m just looking and one-handed typing at this point.

Violet was 6 lb, 13 oz and 19.5 inches long. Lily was 6 lb, 9 oz and Rose was 6 lb, 10 oz. Both were 20.5 inches long. I was a little disappointed my prediction that Violet would be 6 lb, 11 oz and 20.5 inches long was a bit off! It would have been funny to have all three kids go up in weight by 1 oz increments.

She looks just like Lily did at this age. Both big girls are ecstatic about her.

I hope to be back posting regularly on here soon, but for now, I just leave you with a picture of Violet in her coming home outfit.

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My First Speeding Ticket

Despite getting a D (or possibly a D-!) in the driving portion of my driver’s ed class when I was 15, I have been driving for 16 years without ever being pulled over. Or at least I had. My only police interactions involving my car were triggered by fender benders (very few and mostly in parking lots despite my abysmal driver’s ed performance. I’m a decent driver now. I just needed more practice.) or break downs.

So imagine my surprise when I was pulled over at literally 9 months pregnant WHILE having contractions AND driving home from my last OB appointment of the pregnancy where we scheduled my induction. You would think that this predicament would get you out of a ticket, but I didn’t even know what to say. The situation sounds like a total lie. I mean, the cop could CLEARLY see that I was very, very pregnant, but to say the rest of it sounds like a story I’d make up to get out of a ticket even though it was completely true. I couldn’t bring myself to beg myself out of the ticket with these TRUE excuses.

And that was how I got my first speeding ticket on Wednesday. It’s something I will always remember about the week Violet was born. The cop didn’t even check to see that this was my FIRST time being pulled over in 17 years of driving. You would think that you would walk away with just a warning after such an offense. My husband got a warning speeding a few months ago and he really didn’t have any good excuses or conditions to get out of the ticket– although he’s never had a speeding ticket either.

I mean, who the hell gives a 9 month pregnant woman a speeding ticket?!

It was a speed trap and tons of people were being pulled over, so I don’t think I could have gotten out of it. In fact, the cop told me I was getting a ticket the second he walked up to my window. I doubt he cared about the rest of my story. I honesty don’t even know how fast I was going because I was distracted and excited by the fact that we’d JUST set my baby’s birthday. I know I was going WITH traffic and not going much faster than anyone else.

I’ve been speeding for 17+ years, so I’m going to consider this ticket my payment for speeding for “free” for so long and giggle at the comedy of being pulled over and getting my very first ticket while having contractions and 9 months pregnant.

Because, seriously, have you ever heard of anything more ridiculous?

With any luck, today will be Violet’s birthday. Here’s hoping for a smooth and healthy beginning after what was the most ridiculous week in pre-baby history.

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Baby Party

Earlier this week we had our biggest false alarm with labor yet. This new baby is a way bigger tease than her sisters, who only gave me timeable, painful contractions when they were actually on their way out. We went to the hospital at about 6 am after a life-saving neighbor came to our house to watch our kids at 5:30 am. When her husband had to leave for work, our friend woke up the girls and took them to her house to play with her two kids.

The baby didn’t come out. We were sent home from the hospital defeated to collect or big kids later that morning. The next day Lily expressed her confusion about what happened that day.

“I thought when you had the baby Grace’s mommy, Grace, Grace’s brother AND my friend Anne and her mom and Callie and HER mom and Jenna and HER mom and Crystal and her kids would be there!” she said. “Where was everyone? Were they not there because the baby didn’t come out?”

Apparently when I told her who might be watching them when I had the baby, Lily thought ALL of her friends would be there at once. It was disappointing when this amazing, fun, welcome-to-the-world-baby party didn’t happen.

It was also disappointing that the baby wasn’t actually welcomed to the world that day, but I think I’m the one who was the most upset about that part.

Needless to say, there will not be a baby party when I actually do have this baby. A lot of these families have never even met each other. ONE person/family will have the girls until my mom can get here from Indiana. It will be an interesting and exciting day no matter what, but I doubt every single person we’ve asked to be our labor back-up is going to drop everything to party at another friends’ house.

Tough break for Lily!

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Mount Mud Heads

Rose has been running around all night with a picture of Mount Rushmore and informing us that “Their heads are stuck in the mud! Oh no! They are so messy and muddy! Their heads are stuck in the mud!”

I never would have thought of it that way, but she’s really not that far off.

FYI, faithful readers, I am now 37.5 weeks pregnant and have a week of false labor under my belt. If blog posts disappear for a couple days, assume I either had the baby or had a really bad false labor night. Little Violet could be here any minute! I’m too tired and uncomfortable these days to get ahead on the blog for an upcoming “maternity leave”. If I disappear for a few days, posts should return, perhaps sporadically for a while, once we get home from the hospital.

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Kids Say: Broken Belly Button

I am now 32 1/2 weeks pregnant and have a huge belly. I still technically have my belly button, but it’s pretty stretched out and looks a lot different than it did pre-pregnancy. Rose has seemed to notice this most of all.

Some Rose quotes regarding my pregnancy:

“You have a big big big belly! I have a little belly.”

“There’s a baby in MY tummy?”

“This is Violet’s room. Who is Violet?”

And my favorite:
“Your belly button is broken! It needs batteries!”

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